pomdla

Ribbit Ribbit

2011-08-01T05:28:00.009-04:00

I have been on this crazy night schedule at work for the whole month of July... 14 hours a day 5 days a week.... needless to say, it hasn't left me much time during the day to do anything except eat, shower, sleep, shower, eat, and then back to work.... in order to maintain my sanity, I try to make the most of my two days off.... trouble is, I'm usually sleepy during the day and wide awake late at night when everyone else is fast asleep.... so last Friday I decided to fight the daytime sleepiness and do something with the rest of the waking world.... anyways, this intro is getting way too long.... this post is about frogs and taking pictures of them....

I have been dying to play more with my new big boy toy, and since Friday was a rainy day in New York City, I decided to mosy on over to the American Museum of Natural History to take pictures in relative dryness.... I decided to shell out the $25 and see the "Frogs: A Chorus of Colors" exhibit.... I've been bypassing this exhibit coz I'm too cheap, but decided that I better see it before the exhibit closes on January 8, 2012....

speaking of seeing them before they're gone, I was reminded of the buzz a few years ago in the scientific community regarding the alarming rate that frogs all over the world were dying or presenting with multiple and strange deformities.... it is reported that "nearly 1/3 of the world's 6,485 species are on the brink of extinction".... find out more at savethefrogs.com

anyhoo, on to the pictures.... this is the Fire-Bellied Toad (Bombina orientalis), native to Korea, northeastern China and southeastern Russia.... sorry, can't see its fire red fire belly.... scare it and it'll probably flash you....

the Amazon Milk Frog (Trachycephalus resinifictrix), native to French Guiana, Brazil, Ecuador and the Peruvian Amazon.... with his loud call, the male will lure the female into a his water-filled tree hollow where she will lay her eggs and leave them for him to fertilize... once the babies have hatched he lures another female to lay more eggs which then serve as food for his brood....

the Waxy Monkey Frog (Phyllomedusa sauvagii), native to Argentina, Paraguay, and Bolivia.... unlike most other frogs who like it cool, these guys like it hot basking in the sun during the day and conserving body moisture by rubbing themselves with a waxy substance produced by glands in their skin.... hence the "waxy" in their name....

the Borneo Eared Frog (Polypedates otilophus), native to Borneo, Sumatra and other islands of Indonesia.... their latin name doesn't refer to ears 'coz those aren't really ears, but bony ridges.... their latin name is more descriptive of their sticky feet that make them excellent climbers....

the American Bullfrog (Lithobates catesbeianus).... actually an invasive species introduced to North America a century ago....

the Ornate Horned Frog (Ceratophrys ornata), native to Uruguay, Brazil and Northern Argentina.... these guys are not what you would call limber so they just wait and hide until food comes along and then they pounce....

the Tomato Frog (Dyscophus guineti), native to Eastern Madagascar.... are in danger because of the pet industry....

the Poison Dart Frogs.... native to Central and South America.... don't kiss these frogs, that would kill you....

the Blue Poison Frog (Dendrobates azureus)....

the Bumblebee Poison Frog (Dendrobates leucomelas)....

the Golden Poison Frog (Phyllobates terribilis).... "terrible" because it "contains enough poison to kill 20,000 mice or 10 people... it is probably the most poisonous animal on Earth..."

well, whether they're poisonous or not, and whether you think they're cute or gross.... any loss in the Earth's biodiversity is a loss we will never regain.... let's hope the diversity of the frog species does not go the way of the Dodo....

TECHNORATI TAGS: frogs

Sunset #13,879

2011-07-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

Deo gratias....

TECHNORATI TAGS: a brooklyn sunset

I'm a Baby Daddy!

2011-07-01T15:33:00.007-04:00

here's my new baby folks....

I have been bitchin' way too long that I want.... nay, NEED a DSLR.... so I figured I'll finally treat myself.... I do, after all, deserve it after surviving this past year and being promoted to another year....

now that I will be retiring it, I thought I'd say thanks to my trusty Sony Cybershot 5.1MP P&S which has served me so well for many years....
I beat it up pretty bad after 5 years, and I must say, don't discount P&S's, this little guy got me some pretty bitchin' shots....

Happy Canada Day to all the Hosers out there....

TECHNORATI TAGS: DSLR

Ground Control to Major Pom

2011-06-23T23:57:00.003-04:00

so I was watching a re-run of HIMYM the other day.... Awe.... wait for it.... some... show.... Marshall made a comment that made me think of this much neglected blog.... he said that a blog is "something that was cool, like 8 years ago".... what!? really?.... ya maybe.... and that was from an episode 2 years ago.... so that means blogging has been lame for a whole decade now?!..... ya probably....

nevertheless.... I miss this blog... posting the minutiae of my life here felt less vulgar compared to the information overload on freakin' FB.... it feels quieter here.... I think I prefer "whispering out" on my blog to the annoying FB "shout out" for my entire friend list and their friend's dogs cousins to know what I'm doing and or thinking at the moment.... man, I'm totally hating on FB right now....

anyways, I still think this place has its therapeutic value.... I have been going through my old posts through the past few years, and have found it interesting that the random travels I was hoping to document actually ended up becoming the documentation of an inner journey.... I have been reflecting over the events of the past year with a profound sense of gratitude to the Universe.... with the snap of some Divine Fingers, everything that I had been working towards, hoping for and even subconsciously longing for, became my current reality.... let's see if I still have any adventures, wanderings or ponderings left in me.... at the very least, maybe I can still post a bitchin' pic or two.... blog on peeps....

is anybody still out there?.....

TECHNORATI TAGS: blogging is dead

World Peace is Imminent!

2011-01-01T13:11:00.007-05:00

before new years eve 2010, I visited the wishing wall in Times Square and made the following wishes:

at the time, I really had no faith that any of them would come true.... but by the grace of the cosmic forces of the Universe, I am #1) living in New York, and #2) have bought the Candy shop.... #3 on the other hand is going to need some extra prompting, so this year my only wish is for:

a very Happy New Year to everyone.... all the best in 2011....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new years eve 2011 times square new york city

Sunset #13,652

2010-12-17T17:46:00.000-05:00

Deo gratias....

TECHNORATI TAGS: polo beach wedding maui

Biting the Apple in the Big Apple

2010-11-18T21:03:00.004-05:00

In response to Mel's call to revive the blogosphere, here are some everyday minutiae from my life....

I know it doesn't sound cool, but I've always been, and probably will always be a PC.... I never really understood the appeal of a Mac, and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to date myself when I say this, but I still remember them actually being called Apple Macintoshes.... back in the olden days of Commodore 64's?.... now that's a name I bet you've not heard in a long time... a long time.... does anybody else remember Apple disappearing for a while before coming back full force?.... now Apple's everywhere with all these awesome gadgets....

which brings me to my point.... I have been putting it off for a while now, but finally, I bit the Apple and got myself an iPhone... the iPhone4 to be exact... what the heck was I thinking putting it off for so long! this thing is awesome.... they're not lying when they say that there's an app for everything.... coz I think there literally is an app for everything.... there's all the useful medical references and applications that I never really use.... then there's an app where you can actually deposit checks into your bank account with your iPhone4, kinda scary.... there's an app where you can scan UPC codes and the thing will tell you what the product is and where you can get it and for how much, depending on your present location.... my iPhone4 even tells me where I should eat.... okay, no it doesn't tell me where to eat, it but it suggests restaurants in the vicinity of my present location (it's an app for Urbanspoon).... the camera on this this thing is pretty good too, I've retired my trusty Sony Cybershot... or at least I'm giving it a rest.... as you can see the iPhone takes pretty good shots.... then of course there's Shazam.... QR codes.... and have you heard about bumping?.... Oh and yeah, you can also use your iPhone to make fon calls.... awesome....

okay I gotta stop being an ad for the Apple iPhone4 now... the buying experience was pretty cool too though, coz I got it at the Apple Store on 5th Ave.... pretty cool building eh?.... it's all underground as you can see...

So anyways, I'm gonna go waste some more time playing with my iPhone4 now.... if you haven't gotten one yet, I heard there's a new one coming out soon.... I hear the new generation of iPhone will actually control the weather and cure cancer too, so maybe y'all should just wait for that one to come out.... Cheers from the Apple Store on 5th Ave!

TECHNORATI TAGS: apple store on 5th Ave

Put Your Lighters in the Air.... Let's Hear it for New York...

2010-10-11T23:11:00.003-04:00

wassup yo!.... it's been way too long since I've updated this blog.... let's just say that I was preoccupied with the shit that's been going down....

I'm happy to report, however, that the dust around me has finally settled.... and my psyche is starting to breath a sigh of relief.... so let me update y'all....

for the past few months now, I have been officially living and working in the awesomeness that is New York City!

in June of last year, I came to live here temporarily.... my short and intermittent stays cemented my desire to be part of this concrete jungle.... after all, it's where dreams are made of.... for a time, I didn't think it was going to happen anymore, but as of June of this year, I am a temporary visitor no longer.... I crossed the border to officially live here.... for the next few years anyway... and I don't think I ever want to leave....

sometimes I have to punch myself in the jaw to see if I'm really actually here.... I walked out of the local Old Navy the other day to see the Manhattan skyline in the distance.... when I went to Ikea to furnish my apartment, I had to walk through Wall Street, hop a ferry that took me past the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Statue of Liberty, then came back to be welcomed by the skyline of lower Manhattan.... it's all too surreal sometimes....

so in honour of my new home, here are just a few of the New York City scenes I've captured over the past year that I have been in and out of this Big Ass Apple...

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving Folks, from a very thankful Canadian in New York City....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city

Sunset #13,514

2010-07-22T23:02:00.002-04:00

Deo gratias....

TECHNORATI TAGS: a manhattan sunset

et audivi vocem Domini dicentis: "My love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between...."

2010-07-10T23:59:00.005-04:00

for all the failures, stumbles, and falls.... the defeats and disappointments.... the sorrows and broken heartedness.... the long dark storms.... the hard lessons learned....

for all the successes and getting up again.... the times of joy and healing..... the angels You send me along the way.... for the restoration of things once lost....

Deo gratias
totus tuus ego sum Domine

TECHNORATI TAGS: times

i promise to sing to you when all the music dies

2010-06-03T23:59:00.004-04:00

"YES", she responded....

TECHNORATI TAGS: marry me
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

the best is yet to come

2010-05-29T23:25:00.000-04:00

When two souls, which have sought each other for, however long in the throng, have finally found each other... a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are... begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.

This union is love, true love... a religion, which defies the loved one, whose life comes from devotion and passion, and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.

This is the love which you inspire in me... Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels; but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension.

Yours forever

~Victor Hugo
to Adele Foucher
1821

I borrow these words again for you.... it would appear that they hold truer meaning today than they did over a decade ago....

TECHNORATI TAGS: someone like you
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

non est hic surrexit enim sicut dixit

2010-04-04T10:35:00.005-04:00

keep your eyes on the Light at the end of that long dark tunnel.... It will lead you home.... hold on to your faith to get you through the rough patches.... there are better resurrections in store for those who don't give up.... just remember that behind every resurrection was a crucifixion and death.... a blessed Easter to all....

totus tuus ego sum Domine

TECHNORATI TAGS: an Easter sunrise

Sunrise #13,386

2010-03-16T22:03:00.005-04:00

dies novus ....

Deo gratias!

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

Hold my head inside Your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For You I've waited all these years
For You I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say You'll come and set me free
Just say You'll wait, You'll wait for me

In Your tears and in Your blood
In Your fire and in Your flood
I hear You laugh, I heard You sing
I wouldn't change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know what I've become

For You I'd wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say You'll come and set me free
Just say You'll wait, You'll wait for me
Just say You'll wait, You'll wait for me
Just say You'll wait, You'll wait for me

"Til Kingdom Come"
~ Coldplay

Then Job answered the LORD and said:

I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be hindered.
I have dealt with great things that I do not understand; things too wonderful for me, which I cannot know.
I had heard of you by word of mouth, but now my eye has seen you.
Therefore I disown what I have said, and repent in dust and ashes.

the LORD restored the prosperity of Job, after he had prayed for his friends; the LORD even gave to Job twice as much as he had before.
Then all his brethren and his sisters came to him, and all his former acquaintances, and they dined with him in his house. They condoled with him and comforted him for all the evil which the LORD had brought upon him; and each one gave him a piece of money and a gold ring.
Thus the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his earlier ones.

Job lived a hundred and forty years; and he saw his children, his grandchildren, and even his great-grandchildren.
Then Job died, old and full of years.

from the Book of Job
chapter 42, verses 1-6, 10-12, and 16-17

totus tuus ego sum Domine!

TECHNORATI TAGS: a new york city sunrise
FOLLOW UP TO THIS POST: Sunrise #13,021

Don't Worry NY, I Only Like Boston As a Friend

2010-03-11T23:57:00.009-05:00

Road trip people!
Boston is only a four hour drive from New York City, so we decided to drive up for the weekend.... the last time I went to Boston was for a high school trip.... and to avoid dating myself, let's just say that was a long time ago....

Let's start our tour at Fenway.... home of the arch-rivals of the NY Yankees.... the Boston Red Sox....

Then there's Harvard University....

and some Boston architecture....

Boston Common....

Headquarters of The Church of Christ, Scientist.... I learned that Christian Science has nothing to do with Scientology.... d'oh, did anybody else think they were the same thing?....

Lots of historical stuff.... sorry, I'm not really in a tour guide mood at the moment.... but here's Larry Bird's shoes, "Union Oyster House" the oldest restaurant in the United States, the Old State House, and Faneuil Hall, the cradle of American Independence....

Alright, more on Beantown later....

TECHNORATI TAGS: boston

I AM!

2010-03-01T21:23:00.017-05:00

I've been representin' in NYC! Couldn't be home in Canada for that epic hockey show down last night, so to celebrate Team Canada's awesome defeat of Team USA in OT, I have been wearing my red mittens, raising them in the air, and waving them like I just don't care, all over Manhattan.... did I mention it's too hot to be wearing mittens?.... but like I said... I just don't care....

aside from waving them all over Times Square, here they are at Bryant Park.... Hi Empire State Building!....

here they are at Rockefeller Center.... sup Prometheus....

here they are with Atlas, and the traffic on 5th Ave.... hey Atlas, need a hand....

not only did Canada finally win a gold medal on Canadian soil, but our athletes won 14 gold medals on Canadian soil.... that was more gold medals than any other nation, and the most gold medals won by any nation in the history of Winter Olympics.... Canada also ranked 3rd in the overall medal count.... what?!.... Great job Team Canada!

with glowing hearts an entire nation is proud of y'all, and proud to be Canadian....

TECHNORATI TAGS: red mittens in manhattan

Back On Track

2010-02-25T22:01:00.004-05:00

Okay folks, let me get back to regular programing here.... what the heck have I been doing with my sorry existence aside from torturing myself with secret cathartic love letters you ask?.... I've been running a lot for one thing.... living several blocks from Central Park is awesome.... it gives me the motivation to finally stick with the on-again, off-again relationship I've had for years, with my running shoes.... it's just so much more interesting to run in Central Park than it is to run on a treadmill.... so, let me share with you some of the scenes from my frequent runs since I came to New York....

As you can see from the map (well, if you click it that is, it's kinda small), there are plenty of paths dedicated to runners in Central Park....I have a thing for running around in circles, so I usually stick to running around the Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis Reservoir (the big blue blob in the middle).... BTW, I hear that she's very beautiful, but that she rarely comes out of the water....

the map says that it covers a distance of 1.58 miles.... I try to do at least 3 laps when I'm out there, so that's about 5 miles... okay fine, 4.74 miles.... but that doesn't include the mile I walk to get to the reservoir and the mile I walk back home from the reservoir.... hey, it's a start.... unfortunately, my flat feet really do a number on my medial collaterals.... man it sucks to get old.... anyways, the Reservoir path takes you past the Guggenheim and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, among other sights and sounds....

I actually run for several reasons.... I've been trying to get rid of that pesky lower abdominal fat that started to accumulate after a certain age, which I decline to specify so I don't date myself.... but more importantly I'm trying to improve my insulin resistance.... I have a strong family history of DM type 2 so I'm trying to implement some lifestyle modifications to stave off the inevitable.... maybe it won't have to be inevitable?.... and of course there are the cardiovascular health benefits as well.... also, I was inspired by the runners in the New York City Marathon back in early November.... if a little 80-something year old blind lady can run it, then I can get off my lazy ass and condition myself to run it too.... you have to qualify to run in the NYC Marathon though, so I better get my ass in gear.... either that or take my chances with the lottery....

well, it's been raining and now snowing here in NYC, so it looks like the treadmill for me tonight.... I wish y'all plenty of healthy lifestyle modifications from the Reservoir in Central Park....

TECHNORATI TAGS: the reservoir, central park

to pom's immortal beloved

2010-02-14T00:00:00.005-05:00

I had started to believe that maybe those were your tears of a final goodbye.... the final goodbye I had been dreading.... maybe it came and I didn't even realize it.... maybe you were bowing out and running away.... but soothing my pain with words of hope.... at least I got to see you one last time, as how I remembered you.... but then again, maybe that's not the last memory of you I'll have to cling to after all....

still, some of my demons are fighting me to come out.... remnants of them linger despite my many attempts at exorcism.... the one called doubt erodes my faith.... faith in you.... faith in myself.... faith in us.... faith in a loving Hand.... faith that what is best for all involved will come to pass.... the demon called fear taunts me with my every attempt at courage.... the one called grudge whispers the stories of past errors in my ear.... reminding me that I may have become that which I hated most.... the demon called self-loathing tells me that I was, and will probably always just be second for you....

"please pray" you told me.... I must cling to my better angels now.... before they abandon me again.... they remind me that although I was only number two, you will always be my number one.... they show me the love you inspire in me.... a love that persists despite the years that pass, despite the anger and pain, despite the doubts and fears.... a love that inspires in me the Spirit of forgiveness which can come only from Above.... a love that looks on tempests and is never shaken.... a love that bears it out even to the edge of doom....

it is a love however, whose power gives me the strength to watch you walk away.... away from me and towards your own life of bliss.... it tells me not to cage that which should not be caged.... to find satisfaction in watching you fly in your own green meadow rather than in the enclosure of my making.... it shows me happiness in your happiness, and not mine.... this is how I will always love you....

ever thine,
pomdla

TECHNORATI TAGS: moonlight sonata
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T03:33:00.008-05:00

TECHNORATI TAGS: new year's eve 2010, new year's eve 2010 countdown, new year's eve 2010 times square, new york city
WHERE'D I TAKE THESE FROM?: 7th Ave. and 56th St.

Apology to my Blogger Friends

2009-12-31T03:00:00.005-05:00

Dear Blogger Friends,

Please excuse some of my latest posts. The ones whose titles are not properly capitalized? They're just emotional diarrhea that I need to expel in order to relieve the pain in my gut. They're really meant for myself and one other person who's probably not even reading them. I just need a vessel of catharsis and my blog is one of the best things I can think of for that purpose. Like I told GG, it's going to end sadly, so don't even bother following it. If you get an update from me, and it's all in lowercase, ignore it. Unless of course you're a sadomasochist, and enjoy watching someone suffering.... then by all means hehe....

pomdla

TECHNORATI TAGS: apology

New Year Wishes

2009-12-31T02:55:00.004-05:00

I headed to Times Square to visit the wishing wall on Monday.... on New Year's Eve these wishes will be incorporated into the confetti that will shower Times Square at midnight....

I made three wishes... #1) for more New York.... I wanna stay in this friken awesome city until I get sick of it... which would be like in.... never! #2) strong teeth to deal with all the candy I've been eating.... I'm more than willing to lose all my teeth already just so that I'll get over this unhealthy addiction.... and #3) World Peace.... ya right, like that'll ever happen.... dream on folks, that's what the new year (and NYC) is for.... add your new year wishes to the Times Square Wishing Wall here.... who knows, maybe I'll catch it as it descends into Times Square on New Year's eve?

the sweet young lady who was pinning up everybody's wishes on the wall made a comment to me that she was going to be in a whole bunch of people's holiday photos.... nevermind that I said, try blogs, flickr and a little thing called facebook?.... damn these internets, is that thing still around anyway?.... so here you go sweetheart, Happy New Year to you....

there was even a replica of the Times Square New Year ball....

unfortunately, my flight did not arrive in time for me to make it to the "Good Riddance Day" festivities....

on Monday, a dumpster, shredder and sledge hammer were available at Fr. Duffy Square for everyone to get rid of any old baggage, memories or what not before the new year arrives.... I found a regular old rubbish bin and threw out some old candy that I found in my pocket.... it had been there for too long and was starting to melt into the fabric of my pocket.... that can't be healthy.... I feel ready to welcome 2010.... look out for me on t.v.!

Happy New Year folks!

TECHNORATI TAGS: times square wishing wall

hold on hold tight, make it through another night

2009-12-30T23:10:00.000-05:00

"what do you want of me" you asked.... I want your faith.... I need your faith.... I am consumed by my fears and my doubts.... I need to believe in the magic that once surrounded our life.... the path was clearly marked back then.... the signs were big and bright, and we could never miss them.... you have opened my eyes again to that magic.... or is it that that magic only exists when you're around.... I feel it in waves and waves of neuro-transmission throughout my being....

someone once told me that I would be lost without you.... I knew even back then that he was right.... but I never knew how difficult it would be.... to be lost without you.... but finding you again now, and knowing that you've found me too, is almost as hard....

tell me your fears and doubts.... I can't promise you that I can make them all go away.... but I can promise you that I will always be there to share the burden.... I'm sorry if I've made your burdens heavier by opening your eyes.... whatever little faith I have left is yours....

as for me, I will follow the path you light.... I'm still unsure as to which direction to go, but what I do know is that you give my existence purpose.... I'm not so lost when you're around.... take my hand and we can feel our way out of this darkness together.... please hang in there for me....

TECHNORATI TAGS: breath in breath out
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

but i stood and said goodbye

2009-12-30T23:09:00.005-05:00

"nostalgia's thick as the August air" you sang to me.... "old conversations begin again".... you certainly transported me back to another time.... the smiles are the same, I hear the songs in the background like they were new again.... it's like I never left.... actually, that was not entirely your doing.... homie says I need to stop living in the past.... but I just can't help myself.... it just feels so right there.... with you....

when this song was new, and I first heard it, I feared its words.... I feared that if I let you go, I would lose you.... but I was willing to do so, to avoid being caught in the cross-fire.... unfortunately, we both know that I was wounded in that cross-fire.... I've finally healed now.... eventually I did end up losing you.... but it wasn't from holding on to you so tightly.... I was holding so tightly to my pain and anger.... I've finally let those go....

you're not "the one that got away".... don't put his thoughts into my head.... please don't turn me into him.... you're the one I let go but never really left.... you've always been there, no matter what I do to get away.... you're the one that haunts me.... haunts me with the way you cared.... with the way you understood.... with the way you gave of yourself to me like to no one else.... you are "the one".... you are the love of my life....

it's true.... you are the love of my life.... and I would be a fool to not give it one more try.... no matter how small the window that's been opened is.... I would, however, also be a fool to believe in my happy endings.... I just don't have that kind of faith anymore.... but maybe you still do....

TECHNORATI TAGS: butterfly
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

they broke the mold when you came in this world

2009-12-30T23:08:00.002-05:00

ce jour est pour toi.....

bon fête....

je t'adore pour toujours....

et tu me manques beaucoup....

gawd I know it's so old and so boy-band....

but it was new when we were new....

and that line gets me every time....

TECHNORATI TAGS: (God must have spent) a little more time on you
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

don't let me go

2009-12-30T23:07:00.000-05:00

this is killing me more.... my pretty little bubble burst too soon.... radio silence with you is way harder than I anticipated.... especially after being spit out of that awesome whirlwind with you.... thankfully, I have this blog into which I can blow my chunks so I don't get your pretty little dress all dirty.... I feel like maybe I'm slipping away from you already.... gawd I hope not.... I hope you ache for me as much as I ache for you.... probably not though.... I should face reality....

I know I said that I would remove you from my list.... but I just can't do it.... aside from that, a few messages, and four conversations.... it's all I have left of you to cling to.... my only connection to you after years of disconnect.... I read them over and over again trying to see if I misinterpreted anything.... I know I know, I over analyze....

"have a little faith" you said.... I remember the days when you used to tell me that I would pull you up, into Heaven.... I think the tables have turned.... I need you to pull me up now.... maybe you will help to restore my faith completely....

or maybe you will give me the bitch slap that I need to finally move on.... if that's even possible.... I've stopped believing in happy endings.... happy endings for me anyway.... either way, be well.... I miss you more than ever....

TECHNORATI TAGS: never say never
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

until i see you on that bridge

2009-12-30T23:06:00.006-05:00

how can I possibly let you go.... years ago, you gave your heart to me like to no one else.... at least that's what I keep telling myself.... you need to go now, I know.... but no matter where your path leads you.... you must know where home is.... it's with me.... it's always been with me.... it will always be with me....

no one can ever love you as much as me.... you must know this by now.... I'll do what I gotta do to take care of you.... we're older now, we're wiser.... we're young enough to start anew.... it'll be different this time around.... it'll be better....

"home is where the heart is" you used to always say.... please come home soon.... until then, and no matter what happens....

always remember....

TECHNORATI TAGS: you belong to me
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

oui

2009-12-30T23:05:00.002-05:00

I listen over and over again....
no ambiguities....
no metaphors....
just clarity....

that's what I hear....
no over analysis necessary....
only love....
it's all I want too....

with eyes wide open....
I won't screw it up this time....
no more to and fro....
I won't disappoint you....

for God's sake not again....
I'd rather die first...
please be there....
I'll be waiting....

TECHNORATI TAGS: open your eyes
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

until i want what you want

2009-12-30T23:04:00.009-05:00

you've taken over my blog.... just like you've taken over my psyche.... just like you've taken over my heart.... just like you've taken over my soul.... they all belong to you alone.... they always will, no matter what the future brings....

how do you do it?.... make me fall in love with you more by telling me goodbye?.... it was the right thing to do sending me away.... I'm so proud of you.... I'm so in love again with the person that you are.... even more so this time around....

so I let you go to do what you want to do.... I let you go once before, my elusive butterfly.... so you could find your bliss.... I reached out my open palm years later and you floated back down to me.... your stay was so short and light, but I felt you land on me like a tonne of bricks....

I'm letting you go now, but know this.... if you ever float back down to me again, I will never let you get away.... until then, travel lightly....

TECHNORATI TAGS: 11/22
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

i miss the years that were erased

2009-12-30T23:03:00.005-05:00

stop calling me friend.... why don't you just take a dagger and thrust in into my 4th or 5th left intercostal space at the mid-clavicular line why don't you.... I'm not your friend.... I'm your ex-boyfriend.... the one you spent six years of your life with?.... the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with?.... the one who was going to be the father of your children?.... hello, still remember me?.... speaking of which, you had no hesitations about booking San Agustin Church with me.... so why do you hesitate with others?.... because I'm not your friend, I never will be, and you haven't forgotten this in all these years....

I have been, and always will be much, much more to you than that.... just like you will always be much, much more than that to me.... we both have been trying to bury this fact over the years.... it's been over twelve years since you first lit your lighter to the wick of my soul, and with a simple thought, word, song from you.... you set me alight anew....

I think I have proven to you that I will never get sick of you.... we had the same discussion way back when.... I told you back then the same thing, and here I am still not sick of you.... I've been sick without you....

is it even a possibility for me to get over you?.... I think it is unlikely, but what am I supposed to do?.... that's what you want me to do.... how do I begin letting you go again.... especially now that you've sucked me into this awesome whirlwind....

tu me manques aussi....

TECHNORATI TAGS: from where you are
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

even though i know you're leaving

2009-12-30T23:02:00.007-05:00

this is killing me inside.... I'm enjoying the "conversating" way too much, but I don't know if it's doing me any good.... I can't decide whether it really is therapeutic for me, or if it's actually self-destructive.... it just reminds me of how I don't have you, and that eventually this will all lead to our final goodbye.... but I know I have to just suck it up and do this for you....

this has made me think of that time when I was in his shoes and you were figuring things out for yourself.... is this what you went through in the early stages of us?.... are you having the same thoughts and feelings as you did back then for what's his muthereffen face?.... the old me would have been wounded by the thought, but I'm different now.... I would hate to think that I have forced an innocent bystander into the same position that I hated being in.... I hope this is not the same thing.... but don't worry, I'm no junior.... I still know what's right and what's wrong....

I know this feels a little bit wrong.... but f*ck me, it feels so right.... "it's the sanest and most comfortable feeling at the moment".... and I want the moment to last forever.... I'm confused, all I wanted was to find my peace.... now I'm in even more turmoil than when I began.... and like you said, we're not going to finish this in one sitting.... but finish is the operative word that I dread.... we both know how things finished the last time.... not that part of it, but the part where you chose me, the new guy and got rid of the old guy.... but this time 'round, I'm the old guy....

take your time though.... but not too long that it destroys me.... but maybe that's what I need to happen in order to get over you.... in the meantime, like I said before.... I'll take what I can have of you for as long as I can have it.... and I'll enjoy it, and endure it at the same time....

TECHNORATI TAGS: one moment more
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

i'm on fire for you, clearly

2009-12-30T23:01:00.002-05:00

there's not a whole lot that makes me happy anymore.... but this morning was an exception.... I haven't woken up this happy in a long long time.... I realize now it wasn't a game you were playing.... you were just fighting yourself.... there was something you could not bring yourself to tell me and so you avoided the answer all together, trying to tell me in other ways.... deep down you know "let's chat" was not so much for my benefit as it was for you.... but you have someone to protect aside from your own ego, and I'm sorry to have placed you in this position.... I used to be that guy once upon a time if you remember, so I wouldn't wish it on anybody....

I knew I should have trusted my gut feeling about you.... I have always known your heart, no matter how much you fight it.... it belongs to me, as mine has always belonged to you.... if we are going to move on from each other we need to work on it together.... as much as I want to keep you for myself, I know how many obstacles we would first have to hurdle.... I have to let you go so you can find your happiness sooner rather than later.... as long as he makes you happy, then I'll be happy.... of course that's not entirely true, but you'll never hear it from me....

there are three words you're not going to hear from me as well.... but I know you know how much I want to say them.... let me just stand on this, my personal platform and sing it in my silent song.... like I told you, catharsis is good.... I don't care if others peer into my cathartic exercises to find that this fool has loved and lost, because I am the better for it.... I am better because of you....

I think those same three words are there, welling up inside your chest too.... but I don't expect them to reach your vocal chords.... I'm here to help you release the tension in more appropriate ways... I'm still not sure what we are doing.... but it sure feels nice, so can we just enjoy it for a little bit longer?.... I'll take what I can have of you for as long as I can have it....

TECHNORATI TAGS: a message
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

"let's chat" she said

2009-12-29T23:02:00.006-05:00

F*ck me!... I knew I should never have opened up that box.... it was, afterall, labeled "PANDORA"!.... I should have known better.... I'm seriously effed up now.... if only you weren't so damn fine....

Who will believe my verse in time to come,
If it were fill'd with your most high deserts?
Though yet heaven knows it is but as a tomb
Which hides your life, and shows not half your parts.
If I could write the beauty of your eyes,
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say 'This poet lies;
Such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'

from Sonnet 17
William Shakespeare

what am I doing anyway?.... all I know is that it feels nice to hear from you once and a while again.... in fact it feels too good.... I suffer from withdrawal when my inbox lies empty.... I really should know better, but I just can't help it....

I'm not really sure what game it is you're playing, but I'll play along for a while.... until I get sick of it.... we're both too fuckin' old for games.... I asked you for one simple thing.... to know that you're happy so I can move on.... maybe you think you're helping me through my shit by all this.... so I'd stop looking over my shoulder like you said.... you've actually made it worse.... sure, I'm not looking over my shoulder anymore.... the problem is that I've stopped in my tracks, did a 180 and am looking back, right at you....

it's probably all good.... my memory and my feelings for you have been perfectly preserved in the vacuum of my mind for too long.... I need to return them to the entropy of reality.... I'm hoping that the likely endpoint can be staved off for just a little longer.... I've been enjoying my little bubble.... but I guess all bubbles eventually burst....

TECHNORATI TAGS: green eyes
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

With Glowing Hearts...

2009-12-21T00:14:00.017-05:00

We see thee rise, the true north strong and free! From far and wide, GO CANADA, we stand on guard for thee!

Over the past few days, I was able to greet the Olympic Flame as it made its way through the Greater Toronto Area.... it began its journey on October 22, 2009 as all Olympic Flames do, in the Temple of Hera in Olympia Greece.... there, a high priestess focused the sun's rays on a metal reflector to ignite a torch.... after an 8 day relay through Greece, the flame was taken to Canadian soil in Victoria B.C. where it began what will be the longest domestic Olympic torch relay in history....

it has already made its way through Northern and Eastern Canada and even passed through CFS Alert in the northern tip of Nunavut!.... for trivial pursuit purposes, Alert Nunavut is the most northern permanently inhabited settlement in the world.... well, it wasn't as cold as Nunavut, but it was pretty darn cold in Toronto on Thursday when Chuck and I welcomed the flame at Nathan Phillips Square....

luckily there was lotsa music to keep us moving and warm.... I had to take a picture of these protesters to remind myself of how much I love breathing the sweet sweet air of freedom and democracy!....

just last year during the 2008 Communist China Olympic relay any signs of free speech were stifled and/or censored by communist gestapo tactics..... FREE TIBET you heathens!!!.... btw, the sign says "No Olympics. No tar sands on stolen Native land".... aside from the First Nations protesters there were also anti-poverty protesters who were able to cause a disruption in the relay.... this resulted in over an hour delay in the Flame's arrival into Nathan Phillips Square.... but it was all good, it gave Chuck and I more time to partay....

on Saturday, while I was out starting my Christmas shopping (hey this is really early for me), I caught the Olympic flame again as it came through Mississauga....

our final torch bearer was two time Olympic Gold Medal Champion Cheryl Pounder of the Canadian Women's Hocky Team.... another of the Mississauga torch bearers was our own and very beloved mayor, Her Worship Hazel McCallion.... at 88, she kept pace with her juniors jogging the Olympic Torch 400m before passing it on to the next torch bearer.... she has been Mississauga's Mayor since 1978 and she's still very much the "Hurricane Hazel" we all adore....

despite hosting the Olympics twice before, Canada has yet to win a gold medal on Canadian soil, but the third time is usually a charm, so GO TEAM CANADA in Vancouver 2010.... looking forward to Feb. 12, good luck/bonne chance!

TECHNORATI TAGS: olympic torch relay

"i will always be right here" she said

2009-12-20T23:04:00.011-05:00

you know, you're right.... you've always been there.... I've tried so many times to say goodbye.... but no matter what I do, and no matter the length of time that passes, you're always right there.... even throwing away all traces of you was futile.... there are odd stragglers that remain and they pop out of nowhere, when I least expect it.... you wrote me a song.... I found it.... who does that?!.... I don't know any woman who writes their man a song.... but you did.... I was so lucky to have had you, but you've ruined me for all others....

I long to hear you sing to me again.......

I cannot escape you.... your story has been inextricably written into my own.... from once upon a time, when an annoying little bossy brat of a girl had a secret crush on this geeky nerd of a boy (don't deny it).... to that moment of magic in the cottage that I initially tried to deny....

I cannot deny you now.... you're in everything I see.... I see you in everything.... when I look down at the dorsum of my foot, I see a scar.... a sharp coral gave it to me while I was diving in the deep and peaceful blue of the Philippine sea, trying to drown out the truth that I had lost you.... now I cannot escape that scar.... when I look at it, I also see the scar on the dorsum of your foot.... the scar from the cut that I sutured for you in the emergency room.... it's my mark on you.... has it faded, or do you just ignore it?.... no matter, it's still nothing compared to the mark you have stitched into my soul....

I wish I could escape from you with the ease with which you have escaped from me.... but I can't.... so I'll stop trying to escape you.... I'll just be here... singing my silent songs.... until I can escape my self.

until then, sing to me as I remember you.......

TECHNORATI TAGS: i'm there too
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

He a Baby-Daddy!

2009-12-15T00:07:00.011-05:00

I have been informed that Nermal is the baby-daddy of his ex's chilrens.... back in the spring of 2003 before we left the Philippines, Nermal's ex Fluffy was in heat.... I thought that Nermal, being an inexperienced young buck who had just turned one, wasn't getting the deed done.... I was wrong! Mah boi good....

I guess what they did when I was out was more productive than the strange and disturbing kitty 69'ing they allowed me the unfortunate privilege to see.... actually it was less of 69'ing and more 9d'ing, if you can imagine that....

(pause to imagine).....

So, here is the the family tree....

Fluffy and Nermal begat....

Lickitty and Nermal Jr.!

Lickitty is a boy who takes after his mother... he gets his name from his unusual habit of licking the fingers of sleeping beauties.

Nermal Jr. is a girl who has her father's eyes.... sans the lacrimal duct obstruction.... she is apparently a bit of a snob... which she did not inherit from her father... she appears to be a brown tabby which confirms my earlier suspicions that beneath the white fur of Fluffy lay the genetics of a brown tabby.... the white coat gene is a dominant trait and will mask the coat colour and pattern genes.... I suspected that Fluffy had genes for a brown coat and tabby markings because oftentimes I would find random non-white hairs on her.... on closer examination they appeared brown or black with banding patterns consistent with the hair of a tabby.... okay, I better stop myself before I turn this into a discussion on feline genetics.... I used to read up on it a lot in anticipation of Fluffy and Nermal's mating, so I could probably pull out my punnet squares and go on and on.... I never actually thought I'd get any answers to my questions until the news was confirmed... okay, sometimes I just have to learn to stop over-analyzing things and just enjoy the ride and the view....

Back to the family tree.... in a feat of Oedipal proportions, Lickitty and Fluffy begat Naffy and Nopy....

Nopy has apparently inherited his grandfather Nermal's penchant for playing nicky nicky nine door...

So there you have it folks, Nermal a daddy and a grand daddy, and I's a grand pappy and great grand pappy!

Cubans all around!

TECHNORATI TAGS: Nermal's progeny

"happiness is a state of mind" she said

2009-12-14T23:33:00.017-05:00

you never really answered my question.... but I guess a part of me still does not want to hear the truth.... ignorance is my bliss.... in the ignorance are the possibilities that I cling to....

I knew you would find your bliss if I didn't hold you back.... I'm proud of you, and the part of me that can still feel happy feels it for you....

you also said that you would always be right there.... well, I'll always be right here, being the biggest fan you'll ever have....

I wish I could show you all the places in me where I find you.... but I can't do that to you.

follow your bliss........

TECHNORATI TAGS: you could be happy
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

have i told you?

2009-12-09T01:36:00.018-05:00

As an unperfect actor on the stage,
Who with his fear is put beside his part,
Or some fierce thing replete with too much rage,
Whose strength's abundance weakens his own heart;
So I, for fear of trust, forget to say
The perfect ceremony of love's rite,
And in mine own love's strength seem to decay,
O'ercharg'd with burden of mine own love's might.
O! let my [blogs] be then the eloquence
And dumb presagers of my speaking breast,
Who plead for love, and look for recompense,
More than that tongue that more hath more express'd.

O! learn to read what silent love hath writ:

To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit.

Sonnet 23
William Shakespeare

TECHNORATI TAGS: ache
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

I'm Barely Holding on to You

2009-12-03T17:12:00.013-05:00

I'm here still waiting, though I still have my doubts....
In the pain there is healing, in Your name I find meaning....

1 de profundis clamavi ad te Domine
2 Domine exaudi vocem meam fiant aures tuae intendentes in vocem deprecationis meae
3 si iniquitates observabis Domine Domine quis sustinebit
4 quia apud te propitiatio est propter legem tuam sustinui te Domine sustinuit anima mea in verbum eius
5 speravit anima mea in Domino
6 a custodia matutina usque ad noctem speret Israhel in Domino
7 quia apud Dominum misericordia et copiosa apud eum redemptio
8 et ipse redimet Israhel ex omnibus iniquitatibus eius
psalmus CXXX

So I'm hanging on another day, just to see what You will throw my way....
I'm hanging on to the words You say, You said that I will be okay....

totus tuus ego sum Domine

TECHNORATI TAGS: st. patrick's cathedral, new york city, name above all names, psalm 130, stairs to the altar of the Word

It's Christmas Time in the City

2009-11-26T23:55:00.003-05:00

I'm back in New York City in time for Thanksgiving! AMERICAN Thanksgiving that is.... which works out because I missed the REAL Thanksgiving since I was not in Canada in October (just kidding American cousins).... anyways.... I usually say "humbug" whenever I see early signs of the Christmas commercialism which has hijacked the CHRISTmas season, but not this year.... I seem to have caught the CHRISTmas spirit early just from walking around Manhattan....

it's kinda hard not to get caught up in the festive air that has descended on this already vibrant and exciting city....

besides, I've got lots to be thankful for this year, as with every year.... earlier today, I caught the tail end of the Thanksgiving Day Parade.... literally, 'coz all I saw of it was Santa's tail end moving away.... but no worries 'coz as they cleaned up the parade route, I got to see his sleigh up close and personal, along with a more interesting bearded wonder....

so, whether you're American or Canadian or what not, I hope your Thanksgiving was great.... I hope y'all enjoy the coming holiday season... don't be a humbug....

TECHNORATI TAGS: thanksgiving, new york city, Christmas in new york city

Osteoglossum bicirrhosum Part 8 - The Last Part

2009-11-18T20:48:00.006-05:00

Last week I came home only to face a very unfortunate incident.... my beloved, and very awesome arowana Mushu; who I've had for four years and had grown to a length of 23", died.... A couple of days after I came home he decided to jump out of his tank. Even though he was placed back in time, he sustained multiple injuries. He succumbed to those injuries two days later... on Remembrance Day no less.... so this will be the last time I will blog about Mushu. I buried him near the pond under the crabapple tree.... thanks for everything buddy, enjoy yourself in that big pond in the sky....

TECHNORATI TAGS: mushu, arowana

Let Me Take You Down 'Cause I'm Going To...

2009-10-23T12:32:00.012-04:00

so a couple of weeks ago, on Oct. 9th, it was John Lennon's birthday.... I made a pilgrimage to Strawberry Fields in Central Park, just steps away from The Dakota apartment building where he lived and was assassinated.... I went three times actually, before going the first time though, Soulmate took me to Shake Shack for burgers.... after she finished going all paparazzi on Matt Damon's ass there, we took our burgers to Strawberry Fields.... best burgers ever... with awesome burger-eating-music... here was our view while we ate, and a sneak peak of the birthday festivities....

Soulmate had to go home early, so I ended up coming back by myself and got up close and personal to the "Imagine" mosaic....

I just have two words to say.... AWE and SOME! enjoy....

sorry, camera was full so "In My Life" was cut off short :(

Later that evening, I went back with Trinidad and we stayed for over three hours, 'til almost 11 pm....

we got to sing along with most of our favorites, unfortunately no more space in my camera.... but luckily, Steve Baldwin aka brooklynparrot on youtube sent me a video response to my youtube videos.... I saw myself a couple of times in his video shot by his friend Juliet Hanlon.... I'm standing near the couple making out during "Starting Over".... enjoy....

Peace and Love y'all....

TECHNORATI TAGS: strawberry fields, central park, new york city, john lennon's birthday, the beatles, the meetles
WHERE IS THIS?: check the map

There is a Rose in Spanish Harlem

2009-10-12T00:02:00.005-04:00

Soulmate,

I cannot possibly express in words the gratitude which resides in my cardiopulmonary system.... it not only resides in the circulatory pump by which I am ensanguinated, but resounds within the alveoli that oxygenates my being.... from within the depths of my gastrointestinal tract it churns.... and from within the marrow of my axial skeleton it longs to break out and radiate onto you....

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and so I will not even attempt to express this energy with inadequate utterances.... false prolixity.... impostors of what lies deep within myself!.... instead, I offer you these images of the ordinary which surround you, made extra ordinary by eyes which see the beauty and goodness of the extraordinarily ordinary things that you do.... and the goodly soul that you are.... you make my spirit defy the gravity of despair's primordial ooze and reach up to evolve to the light....

shine on Soulmate!

I love ya,
pomdla

Thanks as well to T and G.... HAPPY THANKSGIVING folks!

TECHNORATI TAGS: a Canadian in the U.S. giving thanks on Canadian Thanksgiving Day

Scenes from Bryant Park

2009-10-08T23:46:00.014-04:00

I am on a roll typing an essay about my life story.... feets don't fail me now! The ideas in my head flow in undulating waves of cerebral energy transferring from neuron to neuron down my arms into my fingers, ending up as words and sentences of such eloquent composition on my laptop screen.... out of nowhere comes some loud mouthed girl on her cell phone... she stands within earshot of me bragging to her friend about her awesome office and how they need to meet up for lunch or whatever... I wish you would SHUT UP!... my roll is halted and here I am instead on my blog....

thanks a lot loud mouthed girl (who at this point walks away)....

Yes, I'm blogging to you from a park.... okay, it's not just any park, it's Bryant Park.... right behind the New York Public Library main branch.... what did we ever do without free WiFi and wireless laptops? I don't remember those dark ages anymore, so don't ask.... when the library closes I come here to continue what I'm doing.... what kind of nerd f*@kery am I doing in the New York Public Library you ask?.... that's another blog....

back in the day Bryant Park was a mecca for drug deals and probably wasn't the safest place to be... today there's little kids on the carousel, people playing chess, pétanque, and ping pong, people on laptops, or people just lounging around on the lawn furniture....you can even have your lunch here while a famous pianist plays for you.... oh and yes, there's an occasional person doing drugs....

on this particular night, there seems to be a bevy of hot girls in short skirts walking around... following one of them (don't worry, I'm not a stalker type or anything), I'm led to a big white tent that has consumed the entire lawn of the park.... it's some kind of fashion show.... which explains the bevy of hot girls I guess....

there are a lot of couples making out around me.... I read this on one of the lawn chairs....

stop encouraging them.... someone needs to engrave a lawn chair with "Get a room".... geez why so cynical Angelo?....

a couple approach the couple who were just making out, the asian girl's kinda cute.... I think they're trying to evangelize the fornicators... I have a quick and easy excuse in case they come to me... "I already love Jesus and I'm on a roll with my essay, so I'm sorry, but I don't have time".... luckily when they approach me, they see me typing furiously... from the corner of my eye, I watch them as they hesitate and walk away... phew! I dodged that evangelical bullet....

I buy a falafel and sit down to eat by the fountain.... the big white tent is gone by now.... in the distance there's a stage and the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players sing from the score of the H.M.S. Pinafore.... rock on muther effers! man, I love New York....

I should not have been surprised to see a lot of smokers in a park.... but wait a second, that's not cigarette smoke I smell.... someone has to keep the druggie legacy of Bryant Park alive I guess.... gimme some o' dat you sons of bitches!.... I have to apologize, New York has turned me into a bit of a potty mouth.... which explains the uncontrollable urge to chew on a bar of soap whenever I'm in the shower....

here is the Bargemusic Chamber Ensemble playing Vivaldi's "La Primavera" (Spring), first movement "Allegro"....

they're called Bargemusic because they actually play on a floating barge at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge.... check them out if you're looking for chamber music played on water with the Manhattan skyline as the backdrop...

I think I'm pretty much done with my nerd-fest at the New York Public Library for now.... so for my last night in Bryant Park here is the Brooklyn Philharmonic playing a contemporary piece by Daniel Bernard Roumain titled String Quartet No. 5 Rosa Parks "I Made Up My Mind Not To Move"....

one last falafel in Bryant Park under a clear New York autumn night sky, with the Brooklyn Philharmonic playing in the background.... EFF, I love New York....

TECHNORATI TAGS: bryant park, bryant park fall festival, bargemusic chamber ensemble, brooklyn philharmonic, new york city
WHERE IS THIS?: check the map

pour toi casmehre

2009-10-01T23:59:00.015-04:00

Adieu, Bonbon, ma rose blonde,
Qui m'as aimé pendant six ans ;
Les plus courts plaisirs de ce monde
Souvent font les meilleurs amours.
Sais-je, au moment où je te quitte,
Où m'entraîne mon astre errant ?
Je m'en vais pourtant, ma petite,
Bien loin, bien vite,
Toujours courant.

Je pars, et sur ma lèvre ardente
Brûle encor ton dernier baiser.
Entre mes bras, chère imprudente,
Ton beau front vient de reposer.
Sens-tu mon coeur, comme il palpite ?
Le tien, comme il battait gaiement !
Je m'en vais pourtant, ma petite,
Bien loin, bien vite,
Toujours t'aimant.

Que de tristesse, et que de charmes,
Tendre enfant, dans tes doux adieux !
Tout m'enivre, jusqu'à tes larmes,
Lorsque ton coeur est dans tes yeux.
A vivre ton regard m'invite ;
Il me consolerait mourant.
Je m'en vais pourtant, ma petite,
Bien loin, bien vite,
Tout en pleurant.

Que notre amour, si tu m'oublies,
Bonbon, dure encore un moment ;
Comme un bouquet de fleurs pâlies,
Cache-le dans ton sein charmant !
Adieu ; le bonheur reste au gîte,
Le souvenir part avec moi :
Je l'emporterai, ma petite,
Bien loin, bien vite,
Toujours à toi.

de "Adieux à Suzon"
par Alfred de Musset

bonbon,

le surmoi connais que c'est la vrai chemin.... mais la vérité est cela: je ne veux pas te laisser partir.... reprend là où nous nous sommes quittés!.... comme c'était hier.... hier de six ans.... je ne sais pas ce que je dois faire.... dites-moi peut-être?... ou peut-être, ne moi dites pas.... parce que je connais ce que vous direz.... adieu?

pom

TECHNORATI TAGS: adieux à bonbon
POSTED IN: POUR TOI

Look Up

2009-09-23T18:00:00.007-04:00

So on Sunday night, Trinidad and I went to see an off-Broadway show called Fuerzabruta.... I thought it was pretty cool....

dance music, flashing lights, ladies prancing across the walls around you....

some big ass trampoline like thing made of foil oscillating several feet above your head while a dude and a chick hang on for dear life....

people smashing into stuff....

audience members being smashed on the head with stuff (sorry it's blurry)....

oh, and did I mention all the scantily clad ladies swimming around on a water filled transparent surface that moves down from the ceiling to just a few inches from the top of your head....

Awe...

wait for it....

some....

and at the end it turns into a wet dance party...I'd rather see a show like that than Lea Salonga on Broadway any day... sorry Trinidad LMAO.... I had a great time....

TECHNORATI TAGS: fuerzabruta, off broadway, new york city

9-11-2009

2009-09-11T23:59:00.004-04:00

It's been eight years....

Earlier today, I listened for Tu Anh Pham's name to be called, and tonight I payed my respects at Ground Zero....

I took the PATH to New Jersey to get a better view of those ghostly Twin Towers, known as "Tribute in Light"....

eternal rest grant unto them and let perpetual light shine upon them....may they rest in peace....

TECHNORATI TAGS: 9-11 2009, new york city

I Love New York - Part 3

2009-09-01T03:42:00.001-04:00

I can't believe it's September already.....

Here are 10 things I saw in New York City over this past summer:

1) Weird clouds....

2) Times Square in the daylight....

3) The Naked Cowboy....

4) This guy....

5) The President of the Republic of the Philippines.... she offered a mass for the late President Aquino at St. Patrick's which I happened to attend....

6) The Waldorf Asotria.... where she stayed....

7) I don't know what the heck these people are doing....

8) Super Me! All Natural Smooth....

9) OH CANADA! We've made it to the center of the universe! There are Tim Hortons all over Manhattan....

10) Another year go by.... Thanks Trinidad, SM & G....

Bonus: I swear I saw Lucy Liu near our building.... the taxi we were in almost ran her over... couldn't get to my camera in time, sorry folks...

Enjoy what's left of the summer....

TECHNORATI TAGS: random new york stuff

A New York Summer Night

2009-08-22T01:42:00.009-04:00

'Twas noontide of summer,
And mid-time of night;
And stars, in their orbits,
Shone pale, thro' the light
Of the brighter, cold moon,
'Mid planets her slaves,
Herself in the Heavens,
Her beam on the waves.I gazed awhile
On her cold smile;
Too cold- too cold for me-

There pass'd, as a shroud,
A fleecy cloud
And I turned away to thee....

Proud Evening Star,
In thy glory afar,
And dearer thy beam shall be;
For joy to my heart
Is the proud part
Thou bearest in Heaven at night,
And more I admire
Thy distant fire,
Than that colder, lowly light.

"Evening Star" by Edgar Allan Poe

TECHNORATI TAGS: jupiter and the moon over manhattan

Maraming Salamat po, Tita Cory

2009-08-10T23:59:00.004-04:00

Dearest Madame President,

Today the Filipino nation ends it's official period of mourning for your passing. I sense however, that many of us will continue to mourn you in our hearts for much longer. We have you to thank for restoring democracy to our most deserving nation. The world has you to thank for showing us that even a "mere housewife" in a yellow dress can stand up against, and defeat a dictator. You began a tidal wave of people power that did not only sweep across the Philippines, but found it's way to the shores of many nations who longed to rid themselves of tyranny.

I have you to thank for awakening in me, even at a young age, a pride in my people. Pride in our long and tortured history of enduring and fighting against foreign oppressors, and then, oppression from one of her own sons. I was born a martial-law baby, but I never grew up as a martial law child. I knew a little bit about where I had come from, but mostly I knew that it was a place where corruption was the norm, and the "little guy" really had no power. But from our family room in Brampton, I learned lessons that no history book could have taught me. My family would gather each night to hear the evening news from the homeland. From that fateful day in 1983 when your husband was assassinated, until 1986 when you stood before the United States Congress declaring that you had returned as the "President of a free people", we were there in spirit. I learned that I had come from a place of brave heroes who stood up for what was right even if it meant death. But what impressed me the most, was the fact that my people did not regain their freedom, this time around, through bloody revolution. They did it with songs, prayers, flowers, and their own bodies to face down the military's tanks. Equally impressive was the refusal of the military to fire against their brothers and sisters. And so from the Avenue of Epifanio Delos Santos I received my own epiphany.... thanks to you President Corazon Aquino.

As we bid you a final farewell, I know that in the hearts of most Filipinos you are welcomed into the pantheon of Filipino Bayani - heroes who have, through the centuries, sacrificed, fought, and died for the sake of their people's freedom. And so from a grateful son of a grateful nation and people please accept my eternal thanks, respect, and love. Paalam po.

TECHNORATI TAGS: the book of condolence for President Corazon C. Aquino, Philippine consulate, New York City

Prelude in E-minor, Op.28, No.4 by Chopin

2009-08-01T00:00:00.002-04:00

oxygen eludes me in this Suffocation of circumstances....

a tremendous ocean encasing and weighing down my existence.... once fluid, it has now congealed into a semi-solid that makes swimming to the surface progressively more difficult.... I claw against the density and fight the inertia of my self.... the glimmering under-surface appears so close that I can almost feel the deoxygenated breath within me bursting out in the hopes of a reflex inhalation of fresh, sustaining air from the other side.... I try to muster all my desire and strength, but it is never enough.... breaching that surface remains an unobtainable goal.... I'm running out of air.... amidst this struggle, I encounter air-breathing-water-dwellers.... they ease me in my struggling, and generously commiserate with me....
they share their breath with me.... and I share mine with them.... this is what will sustain me until I reach the surface.... this gelatinous milieu will soon liquefy, I'm certain of it!....

at least that's what I'll continue to tell myself.... thank you fellow creatures of the depths, my eternal gratitude....

TECHNORATI TAGS: american museum of natural history hall of ocean life, new york city

Sunset #13,149

2009-07-22T23:59:00.000-04:00

Deo gratias

TECHNORATI TAGS: a New York sunset

On the Corner of First and Amistad

2009-07-21T23:59:00.001-04:00

Domine, ubi es Tu?

1 Usquequo, Domine, oblivisceris me in finem?
usquequo avertis faciem tuam a me?
2 quamdiu ponam consilia in anima mea;
dolorem in corde meo per diem?
3 usquequo exaltabitur inimicus meus super me?
4 Respice, et exaudi me, Domine Deus meus.
Illumina oculos meos, ne umquam obdormiam in morte;
5 nequando dicat inimicus meus: Prævalui adversus eum.
Qui tribulant me exsultabunt si motus fuero;
6 ego autem in misericordia tua speravi.
Exsultabit cor meum in salutari tuo.
Cantabo Domino qui bona tribuit mihi;
et psallam nomini Domini altissimi.
Psalmus XIII

TECHNORATI TAGS: Psalm 13

I Love New York - Part 2

2009-07-15T03:40:00.002-04:00

10 things I saw in New York over the past few weeks:

1) The newest member of the family... 2) Pom Pom Diner....

3) Canada Day in New York.... no fireworks, flags, or parades, so to commemorate the 142nd anniversary of Confederation, I wore red and crossed the NY streets ONLY when the sign said "walk".... Happy Birthday/Bon Fete Canada!

4) The Brooklyn Bridge 5) The Manhattan Bridge.... 6) Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, at midnight today....

7) Harry Potter himself....

8) Ron Weasly himself....

9) Hermione Granger herself....

10) and Ginny Weasly herself....

Bonus: That's a police car those crazy fans are walking all over.....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city

Psychomotor Retardation

2009-07-04T18:33:00.001-04:00

I, standing still.... the world whizzing around me, by me, past me.... I try to latch on to someone.... one of those shiny happy people.... but they're traveling at the speed of light.... and I, at the speed of stone, am left behind.... they pass through my solidity like phantoms....
I desperately want to break free from this time warp.... the overwhelming desire to move forward has been welling up inside of me for far too long.... I try to concentrate all of that desire into one foot, so that perhaps, whatever iota of strength I have left in me can take that first step to finally propel me into the mix....
Instead, whatever iota of strength I have left escapes through my pores and dissipates into the ether.... as does my desire, once again, to move....

I refuse to be defeated.... especially by my own self....
I well up again all the desire I can muster.... I try to concentrate all of that desire into one foot, so that perhaps, whatever iota of strength I have left in me can take that first step to finally propel me into the mix....
escapes.... dissipates.... refuses....
I'm so retarded.
TECHNORATI TAGS: grand central terminal during rush hour, new york city

I Love New York - Part 1

2009-07-01T12:05:00.004-04:00

10 things I saw in New York City over the past week:

1) Staten Island....

2) Lady Liberty....

3) Ellis Island....

4) The usual suspects and the bold and the beautiful.... you decide who's who...

5) Shrooms.... sorry, they're not of the magic variety....

6) How not to lock up your bike in NYC....

7) Tres Amigos...

8) Michelangelo's first painting....

are you kidding me? Pretty good for a first painting, we were expecting stick figures.... oh and sorry, photography was prohibited so it's a picture of the sign.... if you want to look it up, it's title is "The Torment of St. Anthony" circa. 1487-88.

9) The inside of a NY club....

10) A girl's leg....

Party on!

.... and a Happy Canada Day from the Big Apple!

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city

Do Do Dooo Dooo Dooo Dooo Do Do Do Do Dooo....

2009-06-21T08:22:00.011-04:00

Born a poor young country boy, Mother Nature's son..... All day long, I'm sittin singin songs for everyone....

Sit beside a mountain stream, see her waters rise....

Listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies.... Do Do Dooo Dooo Dooo Dooo Do Do Do Do Dooo.... Find me in my field of grass, Mother Nature's son.... Swaying dasies, sing a lazy song beneath the sun.... ...... oh ...... mother nature's son....... ...........................................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................for full screen experience, click here
TECHNORATI TAGS: Nermal, mother nature's son

Bombus

2009-06-05T11:10:00.013-04:00

When I was in grade 7, Lori-Anne Galati sang me this song as she strummed on her air guitar.... I think of it, and of her whenever I see a bee.... I wonder what ever happened to her...

"Who flies from flower to flower"....

"The bee....

the bee....

l'abeille"....

"Who stings with such force and such power"....

"The bee....

the bee....

l'abeille"....

Sorry, that's all I remember of her song, but please remember to be kind to you local honey bees.... "colony collapse disorder" is claiming about 30% of hives each year in the US alone, and it looks like it's a world-wide phenomenon.... scientists are not yet certain as to the exact cause of the die-off, but believe it may be a combination of factors including pesticide use, lack of adequate nutrition, genetic dilution from the way they've been bred, a mite infestation, fungal, viral and parasitic infections.... the little guys in the pictures are actually bumblebees (Bombus sp.), a close relative of the honey bee, but equally deserving of our respect.... all these busy guys pollinate most of our food sources.... so if their colonies are collapsing, the supply of many of our food sources could theoretically follow... think about that the next time you swat at one unnecessarily....

TECHNORATI TAGS: bombus, bumblebee, bee and crabapple

Testicles

2009-05-29T06:25:00.001-04:00

I need to stop bitchin' about how I need a DSLR, but dude! I am so ready for one now.... my old point and shoot 5.1 MP Sony Cyber-Shot just isn't doin' it for me anymore.... not that I don't appreciate all the great shots it's taken for me over the years, but I've played with all it's settings already and I've reached the plateau of it's learning curve... I need more power, more control, more MP's.... as you can see from my sorry attempts at macros....

They're not that bad actually, but they're not great.... I'm ready to learn how to do great... you know the kind of great where you take a picture of a bee pissing on a flower and the droplets of urine are captured splashing against the petals like crystal clear orbs of yellow quicksilver?...

wish me luck on deciding which one to get and then scrounging up the money for it....

Oh, I almost forgot.... about my title.... it's because "ORCHID" is Greek for "testicle".... so like in surgery, when you want to cut off a guy's ball, it's called an "ORCHIectomy".... if you want to cut off both his balls, then it's called "MARRIAGE"... oh sorry!, did I say that out loud?.... I meant "bilateral ORCHIectomy"....

if you want to bring down a boy's un-descended testicle into his scrotum then it's an "ORCHIDopexy".... this is important to protect spermatogenesis and to make early detection of testicular malignancies more feasible as undescended testes are more predisposed to developing cancers compared to normally descended testes...

so now you know.... and knowing is half the battle!

TECHNORATI TAGS: orchid macros, phalaenopsis

Oncorhynchus mykiss

2009-05-22T09:24:00.005-04:00

It was a beautiful spring day for a trip to the Glen Haffy Conservation Area....

C invited me to tag along with her and the fam for some fishing last week...

She had just got back from her great adventure and what better way for us to catch up than over a lazy day by the fishing hole.... I hadn't fished in ages, but I hadn't lost the touch if I do say so myself....

Helloh.... what's that then.... I think it's a Oncorhynchus mykiss.... say what? English please: a Rainbow Trout....

She's a bute....

Okay, it only LOOKS small from that angle....

See, it's actually pretty big...Get in my belly, so I can digest you.... click on fishy's eye a few times to see what happened before it got into my belly for the purposes of digestion....

Thanks again C, and thanks for the pics of yours truly.... just let me know when I can come with again....

Go fish folks!

TECHNORATI TAGS: rainbow trout, glen haffy, fishing

A Scene from the GO Bus

2009-05-01T19:01:00.009-04:00

I miss commuting to the city.... whether it's on the train, bus, or the subway, I miss the interesting happenings and characters I encounter there.... I know the last time I blogged about the I said that nothing interesting ever happens there.... maybe by comparison, the subway had desensitized me to what is potentially bloggable ..... so instead the scenes had to come via my Sony Cybershot through a dirty window.... well, I guess I just needed to ride it a little longer....

I hop on the 11:50 express from Meadowvale Station to Union Station, I was starting my day late.... an express bus means that it won't be making any stops along the way and will take you straight to your destination.... of course that also means that it's already made a bunch of stops before it got to Meadowvale...

I turn from showing the driver my ticket, to a sea of occupied seats.... scanning down the aisle I find an opening.... beside the open seat sat a figure in a dark hoodie.... with the hood pulled up all the way, it yields only a faint profile of a face.... as I approach, I soon learn that the dark figure is a young lady as she un-hoods to reveal her young face.... young, but weathered by some unspoken burden .... we smile politely as I sit.... I sense a dark aura around my new companion.... it suddenly makes sense to me as to why this was the only remaining seat on board.... in an attempt to avoid conversation, I pull out my notes and start reading....

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" she asks me.... "oh, it's about 5 mins to 12" I respond.... I sense her question was merely an attempt at conversational overture, so I quickly return to my reading.... in the corner of my eye I see her peeking at my notes.... "What are you studying" she asks me.... here we go, I think to myself, for the next 40 mins you're going to be this girl's bitch.... conversation bitch that is.... "oh, I have an exam" I respond avoiding any further divulgence....

"oh" she responds....

"Are we far from Toronto?" she continues..... "oh, not too far, probably half an hour? Are you not from around here?".... I'm so stupid, I think to myself, why am I helping this conversation along?.... "I was in Vanier for a while" she says..... "oh, where's that?".... she looks at me amused at my innocence.... or is it my ignorance?..... "it's the women's prison in Milton".....

"oh" I replied....

How long were you there for, what did you do to get thrown in there, I hope it wasn't murder.... these are the questions that dart through my head, but I thought it rude to verbalize them.... I did my best to maintain a stoic visage.... "Ya, I was in there for a few months for drugs" she volunteered.... clairvoyance?.... or am I just that transparent..... offering my hand to her, I say "I'm Angelo, it's nice to meet you".... "I'm Margaret"....

And so for the next half hour, I was Margaret's bitch.... so long extra half hour of studying.... just take it as an opportunity to practice your listening skills I soothed myself.... Margaret expressed to me her desire to stop using drugs and clean up her life...."marijuana".... "cocaine".... "alcohol".... "heroin".... "you don't smoke do you?".... I guess she got the gist of what I was studying for.... she recounted to me her strong urge for a smoke since she got out of the joint.... like reflex, I began extolling the virtues of smoking cessation... shut up Angelo I tell myself.... I shift to extolling the virtues of quitting drugs.... in Margaret's eyes I could see that this was a concept she had already taken to heart....

"Could you tell me how to get to [someplace downtown]?".... I pull out my map of the city to try and locate [someplace downtown].... Margaret studies the map.... the bus pulls into Union Station.... Margaret expresses once again her desire to clean up her life.... I wish her well.... we prepare to part ways.... she hands me back my map.... "oh, you can keep that" I say, again wishing her well....

I hope she finds her way....

'Does the road wind up-hill all the way?'

'Yes, to the very end.'

'Will the day’s journey take the whole long day?'

'From morn to night, my friend.'

'But is there for the night a resting-place?'

'A roof for when the slow dark hours begin.'

'May not the darkness hide it from my face?'

'You cannot miss that inn.'

'Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?'

'Those who have gone before.'

'Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?'

'They will not keep you standing at that door.'

'Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?'

'Of labor you shall find the sum.'

'Will there be beds for me and all who seek?'

'Yea, beds for all who come.'

"Uphill"
~ C. Rossetti

TECHNORATI TAGS: GO bus ride

No Three-Way for Me

2009-04-28T00:32:00.016-04:00

Unfortunately, the storms clouds over Toronto did not clear in time for Sunday night's three-way conjunction between Luna, Mercury and The Pleiades.... I tried to catch the left-overs of the celestial orgy tonight, but Mercury and The Pleiades had moved away from the moon and disappeared behind the horizon before it was dark enough to see them.... all I could get was the crescent moon.... which wasn't bad actually....

can't see her?.... let's get closer....

even closer....

whoaw....

you can see her pores.... Mare Crisium or the Sea of Crisis is the big crater at 4 o'clock....

I'll have to keep an eye out for more interesting shows up there, 'til then.... wishing you all clear skies ahead....

TECHNORATI TAGS: crescent moon

Peromyscus maniculatus

2009-04-24T17:07:00.005-04:00

A few months ago, I was in the basement getting a beer from the cold cellar.... I opened the cellar door and switched on the light.... there, sitting on the shelf, was a little deer mouse looking at me.... we stared at each other for a few seconds, each contemplating the next move of the other.... he hopped away, but not before turning around to take one last look at me and then scurrying off.... After making such profound eye contact, I couldn't bring myself to kill the little guy in a mousetrap.... so instead, here he is....
I intended to immediately release him into the woods somewhere far from the houses.... but in his shivering, cowering, post-capture shock-like state....
I thought I'd keep him for a while, feed him, and let him recover before introducing him to a completely new environment....
Nermal seemed to like him, he would sniff and tap the cage every so often.... Nermal could often be found sitting by the cage just watching the mouse run around.... at night sometimes, you'd find him sleeping nearby.... I know, I know, my cat is weird.... you'd probably think that he would have knocked the cage over and killed the thing by now.... no, not Nermal....It's been almost two weeks now since Mousey was captured, and I figured he was ready to face the real world again.... the weather has gotten really nice and he'd chewed enough holes in his cage (an old hamster cage btw), that I thought it was time to let him go.... before he let himself go, right back into the cellar....So long and good luck little guy....and Happy Earth Week....

TECHNORATI TAGS: deer mouse

A Tag, Another Tag, and Screw Lea Salonga

2009-04-18T16:30:00.008-04:00

From Mel: You need to list 5 addictions and pass this tag/award to your friends.

1) Coffee.... a chronic addiction.
2) Lost.... just got hooked last year.
3) Kaplan and Sadock's Synopsis of Psychiatry.... a new and current addiction... I used to hate this book!.... now it's riveting hehe ya right....
4) Star Wars.... since I was 5.
5) Blogging... again.... after a pretty long hiatus.

Okay friends, any takers?

From Bry: I just realized that this tag has to be handwritten. Great, good luck reading my chicken scratch....

(a) Write who tagged me,
(b) Answer the following questions:
(b1) my name/user name/pseudo
(b2) right-handed or left-handed?
(b3) my favorite letters to write
(b4) my least favorite letters to write
(b5) and I should write "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
(c) Tag five other people.I used to have a huge crush on Lea Salonga, then I met her in person after a Miss Saigon show in New York.... she seemed full of herself. Then I went to the Philippines and my gf at the time kept showing me all the reasons why I shouldn't like Lea Salonga, like how she was maarte (sorry, can somebody help me translate that into English - too something?, it's one of those words that I can't quite find the English equivalent to, kinda like 'umay'.... but I digress...) and how she was a terrible actor. My ex was right, my ex was also the jealous type.... anyways, move over Lea Salonga, I got Susan Bolye now!

damn that was hot.... I have been watching this over and over again and watching her on the news for the past 4 days.... when I first heard that song, I was in grade 9 on a field trip to see Les Miz with my French class.... in my 20's I heard Lea Salonga sing it.... but those were the years "when dreams are made and used and wasted".... a decade later and that song makes more sense to me now that I've met those tigers with voices soft as thunder.... subtract her awesome voice and she's still the perfect person to deliver that song.... thanks for inspiring me Susan, I'll still refuse to believe that "there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather"....

I'll kiss you Susan Boyle and Nermal sends a high five to Pebbles....

TECHNORATI TAGS: tags, susan boyle

Two and a Half Hours at the AGO

2009-04-15T00:49:00.017-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was in downtown Toronto for an interview, so I figured since I was already there, I'd take a break from my studying and check out the new and improved Art Gallery of Ontario....

I had been waiting for the new Frank Gehry addition to the AGO since 2006 when they started construction.... it is his first major work here in his own hometown.... I liked it better than I had expected... I thought it looked kinda boring from the scale models and renderings.... I thought it could have been more funky, it is Frank Gehry after all... but I guess the finished product is funky enough, but boring enough to fit right in here in Toronto.... the glass facade took on an almost metallic quality in the sunshine.... quadruple click the center of the picture to see how it looked back in June 2006....

Very cool and purdy.....

From Grange Park, you can see the back of the new and improved AGO.... quadruple click The Grange to see it back in 2006.... I'd bet that building would disappear if the sky was just the right colour....

Twisty stairs....Twisty stairs echoed by the trees....

Twisty stairs continued inside....
Climbing those stairs got me dizzy.... literally....

I met up with my friend Chuck at 6pm, admission is free on Wednesdays from 6:00 pm - 8:30 pm.... I figured I might as well appreciate some of the art inside, and not just the architecture..... fortunately, she is an art appreciator.... unfortunately the AGO doesn't allow you to take pictures of the art.... but don't underestimate the power of the Force....

We didn't get to see all the art because we joined a tour of The Grange.... it turned out to be more interesting for me than the art.... The Grange is the oldest brick house in Toronto, and is part of the Art Gallery of Ontario.... it was built in 1817, and donated to the art gallery in 1911... during the time of the renovations, the gallery received letters written by the original butler of the house, and it told of a young maid named Mary O'Shea, who the butler often caught keeping candle wax leavings and then burying them all over the house.... he would follow her secretly taking note of where she would bury the pieces of wax.... included in his letters was a map of where she had hidden her treasures.... so during the renovations, they decided to excavate.... they found the little treasures and so much more.... the first piece of wax they found was rolled up into a ball and contained within it was DROPS OF BLOOD..... dooo do do do doooo.... I won't tell you the rest of the story coz you should check it out for yourself.... but let me just say it gets weirder and weirder....

Anyways, here's what the glass facade looks like from the inside....

I'm gonna have to go back to see the rest of the art.... I also intend to do some more clandestine photography.... I don't get why we can't take pics, most of the other museums I've visited allow photography.... oh well, I love a challenge.... stay tuned..... here's a last shot, you can see the CN Tower's reflection....

TECHNORATI TAGS: art gallery of ontario, ago
WHERE IS THIS?: check the map

sono ad me Domine

2009-04-12T01:10:00.021-04:00

I have no wit, no words, no tears;
My heart within me like a stone
Is numbed too much for hopes or fears.
Look right, look left, I dwell alone;
I lift mine eyes, but dimmed with grief
No everlasting hills I see;
My life is in the falling leaf:
O Jesus, quicken me.

My life is like a faded leaf,
My harvest dwindled to a husk:
Truly my life is void and brief
And tedious in the barren dusk;
My life is like a frozen thing,
No bud nor greenness can I see:
Yet rise it shall--the sap of spring;
O Jesus, rise in me.

My life is like a broken bowl,
A broken bowl that cannot hold
One drop of water for my soul
Or cordial in the searching cold;
Cast in the fire the perished thing;
Melt and remould it, till it be
A royal cup for Him, my King:
O Jesus, drink of me.

"A Better Resurrection"
~ C Rosetti

R.Domini: .........................

lux lucis te rectum ad domus tui et ignitum ossa vestrum....

A Happy Resurrection Sunday
Joyeuses Pâques
Maligayang Pasko ng Pagkabuhay
Chúc Mừng Phục Sinh
Isuta Omedetou

pax Christi vobiscum

Here's to better resurrections, whatever it is you may be seeking, working towards, working through, hoping for, waiting for, etc....

TECHNORATI TAGS: Easter

Feets Don't Fail Me Now

2009-04-07T23:10:00.018-04:00

....at least I hope my feets didn't fail me back there in Buffalo.... I just got home from taking my Step 3.... finally! after rescheduling it four times and postponing it for three extra months.... well, 16 hours divided into two days later, and I'm hoping that it was my very last USMLE ever....

I began my USMLE journey two years ago in Atlanta where I took the Step 2 CS exam.... right after that exam, I payed a courtesy call to the Atlanta cathedral and was freaked out when I learned that it was called the "Cathedral of Christ the King".... this freaked me out because just a few months earlier, I had ended my Canadian exam journey in Hamilton with a similarly immediate courtesy call to that city's cathedral.... you guessed it, it was also the "Cathedral of Christ the King".... I used to believe that everything happens for a reason, so I took it as a sign that Providence was at work in my life.... I have since convinced myself of the randomness of the things that happen to us in this life.... sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence.... sometimes serendipitous (shrug), but coincidental nonetheless....

Living with my logical hemisphere in charge has sucked the poetry out of my life though.... I was happier believing in the existence of small miracles.... it gave me comfort to make some semblance of sense out of the meaninglessness of all the randomness around me..... I guess the human species has been making up stories and rituals to explain and control the world around him since Homo neanderthalensis buried his dead with flowers?.... several evolutionary steps later, and here I am, Homo sapiens, still seeking to find meaning in the minutiae of my existence....

So anyways, right after my exam, I set my GPS to find the nearest Tops Friendly Market to buy some Hawaiian bread for my mom... Tops never stops saving you more after all, Tops never stops.... at least that's what the song says.... unfortunately, Tops stopped at four bags of Hawaiian bread.... but this piece of minutiae isn't my point.... my point is that on my way to find Tops, just a few hundred yards away from the exam center, I passed by a little church and school called.... "Christ the King".... I tried to ignore it at first, but I ended up turning the car around so I could formally close my USMLE journey with a courtesy call with Christ my King....

So the sun sets on another chapter of my existence.... faith, don't fail me now.....
from the Tops parking lot....

and the US-Canada border....

totus tuus ego sum Domine

TECHNORATI TAGS: Christ the King, coincidence or Providence
WHERE'D THIS HAPPEN?: mapquest it

Good Boy Nermal!

2009-03-22T22:12:00.010-04:00

Nermal turned 7 today!

Happy Birthday little buddy!!

Nermal : mmm good.... btw, thanks Tita Ghee and Ate Ally for the awesome birthday card!

On his last birthday, I had mentioned that Nermal had been working on a new trick for quite some time.... But unfortunately we haven't had a chance to film it for y'all.... well our schedules finally converged, so here is Nermal's latest death-defying feat of catrobatics! Are you ready for it?... but first, let's recap some of his old tricks....

And now, for Nermal's newest trick.... drumroll please....

Okay, that trick was not all that it was supposed to be.... Nermal was supposed to have done a triple flip before jumping through the hoop, and the hoop was supposed to be on fire, but Nermal was being a little pussy.... if you listen carefully, you can even hear him whine right before he jumps.... don't worry though, we'll keep working on it....

Good boy little buddy! Nermal a cat who can do dog tricks cat does dog tricks

TECHNORATI TAGS: cat tricks, Nermal's birthday

Sunrise #13,021

2009-03-19T19:15:00.015-04:00

I don't know which way I'm going, I don't know which way I've come, but for You I'll wait 'till Kingdom come....

"the Lord addressed Job out of the storm....
Where were you when I founded the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its size; do you know?
Who stretched out the measuring line for it?
Into what were its pedestals sunk, and who laid the cornerstone,
While the morning stars sang in chorus and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

And who shut within doors the sea, when it burst forth from the womb;
When I made the clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling bands?
When I set limits for it and fastened the bar of its door,
And said: Thus far shall you come but no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stilled!

Have you ever in your lifetime commanded the morning and shown the dawn its place
For taking hold of the ends of the earth, till the wicked are shaken from its surface?
The earth is changed as is clay by the seal, and dyed as though it were a garment;
But from the wicked the light is withheld, and the arm of pride is shattered.....

Then Job answered the Lord and said:
Behold, I am of little account; what can I answer you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
Though I have spoken once, I will not do so again; though twice, I will do so no more."

from the Book of Job
chapters 38 and 40

totus tuus ego sum Domine

TECHNORATI TAGS: a Mississauga sunrise
WHERE IS THIS?: check the map
FOLLOW UP POST: Sunrise #13,386

Another Deep Thought from the New York City Subway

2009-03-03T15:03:00.012-05:00

okay, this didn't really happen on the New York City subway, but on a New York City bus.... the title is just for continuity purposes....

I found myself on the M96 heading towards the green 4, 5 and 6 subway line along Lexington Ave.... just that morning, I learned that despite running on the same track, the 4 and 5 line is an express to Harlem and that the 6 is the one to take if you want to get off at various stops in between downtown and uptown.... geez, why is life so complicated?... will I ever understand the NYC subway system?... anyways, Soulmate looks up and says, "That's for you".....

"O wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world
That has such people in't!"
- William Shakespeare (1554-1616)
from The Tempest

WORD to dat W.S.... wow she was right, it really is for me.... it made me think of a trinity of goodly creatures who have helped me along my recent journey.... Soulmate, Sr. Theresa, and DC....

Soulmate, if you're reading this, I haven't had a chance to really say thank you for that letter you wrote me on January 3, 2008.... it's what Dr. Conrad Fisher would have described as a "letter from God"... I've kept it close ever since.... I needed to hear that at that moment.... I knew there was a reason why we became soulmates way back when... unfortunately my short term memory takes over a lot, but fortunately since that letter, you have been splashing my face with much needed cold water with the goodly things that you do and the goodly person that you are....

Sr. Theresa, you taught me once again that sometimes a coincidence is no mere coincidence, but a divine happenstance.... Providence if you will.... your happening upon my blog and the perfectly beautiful storm of events that followed gave me a good smack back to the reality that gives me peace....

DC, you gave me a good punch in my gut.... an appropriate analogy since you are a mixed martial arts expert.... after still refusing to believe that a goodly Hand was still at work in my life, the series of events which began with you was an exclamation point to a couple of smacks and splashes of cold water to the face.... thank you brother....

For quite some time now, I have been standing on the edge of a cliff staring into the dark abyss of atheism.... I never jumped in, but man was I ever close... today, I am still standing on that cliff, but now, because of goodly people, it is no longer the tips of my toes which teeter on the edge, but the backs of my heels.... with my feet firmly planted, I face now the Mountain Top, and it is beautiful... I'm sure I'll probably glance behind me once in a while to look into the dark abyss, but it won't have the same pull on me ever again....

Remember folks that your actions have consequences.... even if you don't realize it, what you do may actually be transforming you into an instrument of the Almighty.... your words may be making you into a messenger of good news.... angels really do walk among us....

pay it forward....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city, MTA, train of thought, faith journey Soulmate

I was a Godfather at 13?!.... or was it 14?

2009-03-01T09:00:00.006-05:00

I guess I'm the ninong type or something coz I've accumulated quite a number of godkids: Kim, Zachary, Mickey, Janel, Bryan, Xadel, Andrea, Summer, Aiden....darnit, I feel like I'm forgetting someone.... it's hard to get old.... okay, I'm not that old, I got a bunch of godkids because I started early.... I started godfathering when I was 13 or 14!... ya, I know I was a teenage (god)father.... hey when someone asks you to be the godfather to their child, it's an offer you can't refuse....get it, nudge, nudge ("The Godfather" reference).... anyways.... so last week the Church welcomed two new members to the Body of Christ: my newest goddaughter Ava, and since she comes in a 2-pack, my newest godson Jaiden.... it'll just get confusing for everyone to figure out who calls who ninong and who calls who tito... 2 for the price of one, you can't go wrong.... Ava and Jaiden Nadgir

Infant baptism may not make sense to some people, I mean what does a baby know of sin and repentance or especially of original sin.... it's actually for us, the parents, godparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and indeed the entire Body of Christ.... an opportunity for us to renew and live our own baptismal promises by teaching the faith to a new soul.... when they grow up and are old enough to decide for themselves, they can choose to complete their baptismal rite with a baptism of fire by the Holy Spirit... or not.... until then, we choose to speak for them....

If you asked me a while ago, I would have told you that I could never be a ninong again.... how can someone who questions the very existence of a god even begin to teach a child about the love of The Almighty Everlasting God.... by some force of Providence, I became a ninong again when my faith was in the process of full restoration.... so when the deacon asked "parents and godparents, do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth?".... my "I do" got stuck in my epiglottis out of a sense of shame for my faithlessness.... what I'm certain of about my faith is that it teaches about a God of forgiveness, redemption, and renewal.... so on this baptism I renewed my faith not only for these two new souls, but also for my own soul....

The godparents: keepers of the light of faith....

so, for your baptism Ava and Jaiden, I've written you a letter.... you obviously do not understand this now, but maybe one day in the distant distant future when you're old enough, you'll google yourselves and maybe you'll find Ninong's letter.... hopefully it'll mean something to you at that time:
Ava Nadgir Jaiden Nadgir
February 22, 2009
Dear Ava and Jaiden,

Today, we claimed you for Jesus Christ. That means nothing to you now, but it means everything to Ninong. It means everything to me because I know Him so well, and would like you to know Him as I do. I hope I'll be able to show you what I mean as you grow up. I hope that when you have voices of your own, you will choose to claim yourselves in His name. Until then I will speak for you.

As you grow up you are going to hear that "God loves you" all the time, this isn't just another cliché. He loves you so much that he has given you your parents, godparents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. who will love you and take care of you. We have waited for you for a long time. You are so blessed, and I know you will be blessed all your lives. You won't really appreciate what "God loves you" truly means though, until life gets difficult.... when you find yourself in a situation where things are not going right for you, or worse yet, when you find that your world is deconstructing right before your eyes, and you can do nothing but pray for help. If anything like that should happen, keep the faith and be patient because prayers are heard and answered. The answer may not come exactly when or exactly how you wanted, but trust me, it will come.... and the answer will be exactly what you need.

I hope that you will not have to carry too heavy a cross in your lives, but life will throw you some doozies, so hang in there and hang on to the hands of the people that love you, especially God's. I look forward to watching you both grow up.

God bless you,
Ninong Pom

TECHNORATI TAGS: ninong

Sunrise #12,911 and Sunrise #12,988

2009-02-25T00:00:00.014-05:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again......

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.

You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the life to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You still my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

"Everything"
by Lifehouse

2 Exaudi vocem deprecationis meae dum oro
ad te dum extollo manus meas ad templum sanctum tuum
Psalmus XXVIII

in manus tuas Domine....

TECHNORATI TAGS: an Ash Wednesday meditation, a New York City sunrise, a West Virginia sunrise, St. Patrick's Cathedral

On the Road Again

2009-02-20T10:18:00.010-05:00

Hi folks! Guess where in the world Wald... errr Angelo is now....

here's a clue.... EXCELSIOR! sure is purdy down here....
oooooooo.....
aaahhhhhh.....
oooohhhhhh..... oh crap!....thank Zoom-Zoom for ABS... another one.... Okay, after driving by a total of 7 ditched cars, the last of which was an SUV turned over on its roof, I decided to stop taking pictures and focus on the road hehe... safety first!

okay, one more....

Whew, DO NOT take Route 17 in the winter.... my 8 hour drive turned into a 10 hour drive because of icy roads, white out conditions, and down-right treacherous driving.... I need a massage this morning....

TECHNORATI TAGS: winter driving

Back to the Falls

2009-02-17T23:28:00.022-05:00

After driving by Niagara Falls on my way home from West Virginia last week, I realized that I still had not taken my friend Chuck to see them.... she had moved to Toronto from the Philippines over the summer and I had promised to take her.... unfortunately, I've been a bit toxic with my life in general that my promise remained unfulfilled, until today.....

Let's start our tour with the Rainbow Bridge to the United States....

here's the American Falls.....
the Canadian Horseshoe Falls from a distance.....getting closer to the Canadian Falls....even closer....Whoaw, too close....
close-up....

rainbow....

now isn't this better than some drive-by shot?....

this is why they call it the Rainbow Bridge....Whew, after all that walking, we deserved a big lunch with a great view at the Fallsview Casino....
after lunch, Chuck hit it big at the slot machines.... no cameras allowed.... oh well... that's all for now folks, good night from Niagara Falls Canada....
the Falls lit up at night....
y'all let me know if you're coming to the Greater Toronto Area, I can take you on a less virtual tour of the Falls.... Cheers for now!
TECHNORATI TAGS: Niagara Falls
WHERE IS THIS?: check on my map

Country Roads Take Me Home To The Place I Belong....

2009-02-11T22:32:00.016-05:00

Hey Mountain Mommas! Sorry, I know I keep doing this.... up and disappearing for weeks or months at a time.... but I had to go on a last minute road trip to West Virginia....
I didn't really get a chance to take too many pics.... there was a pretty bad snow storm on my way down, so I had to keep both hands on the wheel for most of the 7 hour drive.... oh yeah, and my camera died too.... fortunately, I fixed my camera, but I never really had time to take pics.... towards the end of my stay the weather cleared up and on my way home I snapped a few more shots for your viewing pleasure.... I think that's a cemetery in the foreground......

a river.....
purdy....
so long West Virginia, hello Pennsylvania.....getting closer to Canada.... hello New York State....
The US-Canada Border on the Peace Bridge.....
We's in Canada!Where the heck am I? Why is it so foggy?...
Sure is purdy though.....
Is that what I think it is?....
I think it is.... It's Niagara Falls....
Okay, I didn't really get lost in all the fog, I just thought I'd drive by the Falls before I headed home since I haven't seen them in quite some time.... of course I didn't stop to take better pics.... too cheap to pay for $10 parking just to take a couple of shots I've taken a zillion times.... I hope you can appreciate my drive by shots nonetheless....

Well, I'm glad to be back home, but I'm hoping I'll be able to go back to West Virginia again.... life is old there, older than the trees, younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze....

TECHNORATI TAGS: West Virginia, driving by Niagara Falls

Hail to the Chief!

2009-01-20T23:17:00.007-05:00

CNN asked people watching the inauguration from the National Mall to send their pictures of "the moment" so they could create an interactive graphic of the moment Barack Obama took the oath of office.... here's the moment Barack Obama raised his hand from my point of view....ok, ok, I had to settle for watching it on t.v..... I was planning to schedule an interview in Baltimore to coincide with the inauguration, so I could be there in person... but obviously that didn't turn out.... even back in September when I was looking into it and Obama was still just candidate Obama, it was already hard to find an affordable hotel room in D.C.... oh well, at least I had a front row seat.... I can't believe that after all the anticipation for "the moment", it didn't go so smoothly with Obama jumping the gun, and the Chief Justice screwing up the words...

haha... oh well, it was a momentous enough event to not be overshadowed by some minor imperfections.... I didn't hear the usual soaring rhetoric that I was hoping for in his inaugural address though..... you know, the kind of speech that parts the clouds and ushers in the sparkling rays of the shining sun that he usually delivers?.... I did hear angels sing "aaaaaaaahhh" a couple of times during the speech though.... if you missed it here it is....

In classic Obama style, the new president will restore the tradition of making the first foreign trip of the new president to Canada, in a gesture to re-establish the Canadian-American bff relationship which Bush wrote off... so you better believe I will be there to see him in person that time around....

Congratulations President Obama, Congratulations People of America, Congratulations People of Earth!

TECHNORATI TAGS: President Barack Obama

A Night for Dreams

2009-01-19T09:44:00.006-05:00

Hi folks, sorry I disappeared for a while there.... I have been in a bit of a funk since the new year and at the same time I've been trying to focus on my Step 3.... It's been a bit difficult to get back on track.... I even considered taking some SSRI's, at least in a mild form just to help me get over this last hump.... luckily I got a dose of Barack Obama this weekend.... his oratory and the symbolism which surrounds him has injected a little bit of hope and optimism back into my funkadelic existence.... how amazingly fitting, that today, dedicated to the great martyr of civil rights; the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., is also the eve of the inauguration of the first black president of the free world.... whether it's coincidence or Providence, I still can't get over the fact that I can watch this happen so soon in my lifetime.... young enough to look forward to what the next 40 years has in store, but old enough to truly appreciate how momentus this occasion really is.... tomorrow afternoon, PRESIDENT Barack Obama will add to the scripture of American history with his inaugural address.... but tonight, let us reflect on some old words, from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as we watch his dream unfolding before our eyes.... A happy 2009, happy MLK Day, happy Inauguration eve....

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

from "Normalcy Never Again" a.k.a "I Have a Dream"
by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
on August 28, 1963 on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial

TECHNORATI TAGS: I Have a Dream

felicem diem natalem tibi Domine

2008-12-25T00:00:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Mahalia invited me to join the 2nd Annual OTWOMD Christmas Tree Blog Parade 2008 , so here is our family's Christmas tree.... a tree of light that heralds the birth of the Christ who grew up to hang and die upon the tree of life....

Hope you and all your loved ones have a great holiday. God bless!

TECHNORATI TAGS: Merry Christmas

Hypostomus plecostomus

2008-12-19T00:15:00.011-05:00

Happy Philippe Friday folks.... Philippe III, my pleco and Mushu's janitor fish refused to pose for a picture unless I devoted an entire blog to him, instead of just being mentioned as Mushu's sidekick all the time.... so today is the first Philippe Friday.... also, he would prefer the title "practitioner of the custodial arts" or "custodial engineer", instead of janitor....

I didn't realize that what he meant by posing, was that he would scurry from one cave to the other.....
but I sneaked up on him in the middle of the night.... GOTCHA!!

I'm sure Mel and Robyn won't appreciate Philippe's unique brand of handsome, but he's just going to get uglier as he gets bigger, so enjoy while it lasts.... look how cute he was two years ago.....

those cute goldfish have since been converted into Mushu poop.....

Have a great weekend folks, from me, Philippe, Mushu, and Nermal....

TECHNORATI TAGS: Hypostomus plecostomus, pleco, janitor fish

Osteoglossum bicirrhosum Part 7

2008-12-15T07:48:00.010-05:00

A happy Mushu Monday folks..... It's been a long time since I have updated on my Arowana Mushu No. 5.... I received him as a Christmas gift from my family three years ago.... This is how he looked back then when he was only 6.5" long....

Today, he is 18" long....
After his move into his present 75 gallon home, I started feeding him live food again, as you can see from his previous updates... (Warning: do not click on previous updates if you are a goldfish or minnow lover).... I've limited the number of live feeder fish he gets now because it makes him grow so fast, and I can't afford to keep buying him ever bigger homes.... He seems comfortable in this present tank, and I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible, so it's mostly arowana pellets for Mushu.... not that he's complaining, he attacks those pellets with a voracious gusto.... in the summer I gave him a couple of goldfish from the pond as a treat though.... but that's another blog.....

When he was living in his cramped 20 gallon tank, Mushu developed a deformity in one of his opercula, which protruded outward instead of resting flush against his body.... this developed as a result of swimming backwards in such cramped quarters.... that problem has resolved....

He also chewed his tail off over 2 years ago..... it never grew back completely, but it looks much better now....One problem he has developed however, is a droopy left eye....

apparently this may have something to do with genetics or a high fat diet.... yet another reason why I should limit the live goldfish....

Oh and remember Phillipe (or as Aiden calls him "Flee-play"), his "janitor" fish? He's gotten bigger too.... after Mushu ate the original Phillipe II, I let Phillipe III grow a bit in a separate tank, before introducing him to Mushu.... I also constructed "caves" beneath the tank gravel, so that Phillipe had a place to hide.... I stuff food into the caves so he can eat in peace.... eventually Phillipe grew big enough so that he can come out of the caves to swim around without the risk of being eaten by Mushu.... he gets nipped occasionally, but he's a tough fish, and I think they're just friendly love bites from Mushu.... ya right.... Phillipe is afraid of the light though, so he only comes out when it's dark.... I had to snap this shot quickly before he scurried back into his cave....
Well, that's all for now folks.... Mushu enjoyed seeing y'all again.... until the next time.... good fortunes in the coming new year....

TECHNORATI TAGS: arowana, osteoglossum bicirrhosum, silver arowana, dragon fish, mushu

Tagged By Gina

2008-12-04T13:27:00.005-05:00

Sorry it took me so long to get around to this tag Gina, but now that you're in studying mode, I'm sure you understand....
so without further adoooo, here's Gina's Alphabet Questions Tag:

A. Attached or single? Single.
B. Best friend? Nermal.
C. Cake or pie? Both.
D. Day of choice? Friday.
E. Essential item? Laptop.
F. Favorite color? Black.
G. Gummy bears or worms? Both.
H. Hometown? Brampton.
I. Favorite indulgence? Sleeping in.
J. January or July? July.
K. Kids? Nermal.
L. Life isn’t complete without? Laptops.
M. Marriage date? TBA
N. Number of magazine subscriptions: None.
O. Oranges or apples? Both.
P. Phobias? Awkward social sitations.
Q. Quotes? "Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'"
R. Reasons to smile? Nermal, New York city.
S. Season of choice? Spring or Fall.
T. Tag 5 people. any takers?..... got one, thanks Mel
U. Unknown fact about me? hmmm.... even I don't know.....
V. Vegetable? No I'm not a vegetable, I'm very much conscious, coherent, and with spontaneous movements .
W. Worst habit? Procrastinating.
X. X-ray or ultrasound? It would depend on the indications.
Y. Your favorite foods? Sashimi salmon, white tuna, and sea urchin.
Z. Zodiac sign? Cancer.

TECHNORATI TAGS: alphabet question tag

For Soulmate

2008-12-04T02:12:00.005-05:00

I liked it better when I was in New York.... being home now, I've settled back into my not-so-happy place of anxiety and self loathing.... at least my mind was preoccupied with other things over there.... it's 2 in the freakin' A.M. and it's another night of insomnia for me.... unfortunately, there's no nuit blanche to run to.... all I seem to focus on in the darkness of my room is the ticking of my clock.... each tick screaming another second of my life that I will never get back again.... geez, I'm so tortured..... time is such a beeyatch though.... my thoughts remember part of a poem that I sent to my ex-fiancee before I left for good...

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep - while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

~ E.A. Poe

Wow, talk about tortured eh?.... Soulmate says that I'm a tortured soul.... that I seek relationships that are troubled, or that I seek trouble in my relationships.... probably more of the latter.... she said that I thrive on this masochism because it brings out the creative side of myself.... a side that I'm always seeking to express.... I never really saw it that way.... I always just thought that I have bad luck when it comes to girls.... maybe she's right.... maybe TA isn't really that neurotic.... maybe LM didn't really have such big man feet.... maybe MC really wasn't such a slut.... maybe A really wasn't too old for me.... maybe M wasn't that much of a schizophrenic.... maybe R's baggage could be manageable.... maybe J... she was fine actually.... maybe MA wasn't too much of a scatterbrain.... I don't know, it's hard to tell.... and hindsight is always 20/20.... maybe I'm the neurotic one?..... nah....

I don't really want to be tortured anymore.... even if the masochism is my muse.... I don't want to end up cutting off an ear like other creative tortured souls.... and let me tell you, after a fight with TA, it's not just your ear that you'll want to cut off.... also I'm not really a big fan of S&M.... I think it's disgusting.... but at this rate, it looks like the M of S&M will be the likely evolution of my behaviour.... eww sick.... thirdly, I don't want to be an insomniac anymore...

Soulmate, this post's for you.... I hope it was tortured enough :) ..... geez I need some sleep!

TECHNORATI TAGS: torture

Deep Thoughts from the New York City Subway

2008-12-01T09:37:00.018-05:00

I found myself on the M15 heading N on 1st Ave.... last time I was on this bus I was with soulmate.... I found myself alone this time.... I glanced up to look for some "Poetry in Motion".... instead I found this "Train of Thought".....

"I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."

- Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
from Memoirs of the Life, Writings, and Discoveries of Sir Isaac Newton (1855)

the last time I glanced up on this bus, soulmate had "taken wings".... I still find myself looking for smoother pebbles and prettier shells.... but thanks to her I got me some feathers.... hopefully I can fashion them into wings and follow her to the other side of the great ocean of truth.... or at least to the other side of the East River....

I realized, getting on the 1 line at 96th street on Broadway that there were no "Poetry in Motion"s posted right now, just a bunch of "Train of Thought"s.....

"America was discovered accidentally by a great seaman who was looking for something else; when discovered it was not wanted; and most of the exploration for the next fifty years was done in the hope of getting through or around it. America was named after a man who discovered no part of the New World. History is like that, very chancy."
- Samuel Eliot Morison (1887-1976)
from The Oxford History of the American People (1965)

Hey, America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, America!.... armpit fart sound....

Okay, this deep thought comes to us from Robert F. Kennedy....

CELEBRATE THE DEDICATION OF THE ROBERT F. KENNEDY BRIDGE
"Each time a man stands up for an IDEAL, or acts to improve the lot of others, or STRIKES OUT against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of HOPE, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can SWEEP DOWN the mightiest walls of oppression...."
- Robert F. Kennedy (1925-1968)

posted on occasion of the dedication of the Triborough Bridge in honour of RFK.... I'm happy to be alive to see this new era of Kennedy-esque HOPE and IDEALism with the election of President elect Obama.... but why did it have to cost me $4+ to cross that bridge coming from LaGuardia.... and I remember when I drove to New York last year, paying $10 to cross the George Washington Bridge and another $6 to cross the Queensboro bridge.... all in one trip....what the heck!... and it's not like you have a choice because Manhattan IS a freakin island.... oh well, just another argument for why you should use public transportation.... despite this, bridges sure are purdy to look at, especially at night.... here's the Triborough Bridge, now RFK bridge at night....I'm hoping that this will be my view next year.... fingers crossed, knock on wood....

TECHNORATI TAGS: new york city, MTA, train of thought, triborough bridge, robert f. kennedy bridge

Happy Thanksgiving Santa et al.

2008-11-27T23:24:00.005-05:00

I bumped into Santa Claus on his annual Thanksgiving day visit to New York City.... In New York he arrives on a big swan... I never knew there were swans in the North Pole, but hey this is New York.... anything is possible here.... It was my first American Thanksgiving, so I decided to check out the tail end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, before heading to my aunt's for Thanksgiving lunch... thanks for reminding me about it Leah, it was much more crowded than our parade.... I wanted to finally see the huge ass balloons in person though, and I wasn't disappointed....Whoaw Horton, you're huge.....Mamma Mia, dats a bigga candy cane....Sorry that's the best of what I got on film, next year I'll try to catch the whole thing... ya right....

For my first American Thanksgiving I'm thankful for old friends and new....
Family.... old and new.....and brand spanking new....these two are my newest niece and nephew Ava and Jaiden.... we've been waiting for them for a long while now and after years of trying on my cousin's part, they're finally here.... I'm not only thankful for their arrival, but for the successful surgery to correct Jaiden's tetralogy of fallot.... He's only 2 days post-op here, and I'm hoping he'll make a speedy recovery.... please say a prayer for him or send some good vibes in his direction....

I'm thankful for the possibilities when you don't give up, and keep the faith.... and I'm thankful for closed doors and opened windows.... Happy Thanksgiving y'all....

TECHNORATI TAGS: thanksgiving

Hey Santa, Remember Me?

2008-11-16T22:58:00.016-05:00

Nothing like a Santa Claus Parade complete with marching bands, Christmas carols, humongous floats, and excited kids (of all ages) everywhere, to get you infected early with the Christmas spirit.... Luckily, I dropped by Leah's blog yesterday.... she inspired me to take a break from my anxiety riddled nerd-fest in the Gerstein Library, to greet good ol' St. Nick on his annual pre-Christmas eve visit to Toronto.... I think I'm finally starting to shed the humbug that's been hanging over my head for the past couple of years.... Thanks Leah, I'm glad I found you and your family in that crowd.....
Gimme a big cheeesse Samantha Claus....Whoaw Clifford, you're huge....
Lookin' good Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.....
Check out SPUDerman in the back....
Watawat....
Weeeeee.....
Santa's workshop, must mean a certain somebody is close by.....KIDS GONE WILD.... I guess they sense the big guy's near.....The big guy himself....
A Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night....
TECHNORATI TAGS: santa clause parade, toronto

Oh No He Di'int!

2008-11-05T01:00:00.023-05:00

OH YES HE DID... 338 electoral votes? Whaaaaat.... yaaah boooyyyy!

My faith in America was restored at 11:00 PM EST on November 4, 2008....

Wow, the words my mind sang to itself..."we shall overcome".... my faith in a persevering hope in better tomorrows was also restored tonight.... I never thought that I would see this day, this soon.... I used to be an optimist, so I imagined maybe seeing this day in the distant future, with grandkids on my lap telling them that a black president would never have been elected in my day..... in a few hours I'm going to wake up to a world with a little more hope in it, and with a renewed sense of optimism..... God bless America....

But now, what am I going to watch on t.v.?

TECHNORATI TAGS: president elect barack obama

We Interrupt Regular Programming To Bring You This Message

2008-10-15T23:19:00.007-04:00

I AM CANADIAN, AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE....

canadavotesobama.com

TECHNORATI TAGS: Canada Votes Obama

Yes, We Can

2008-10-14T22:16:00.020-04:00

I just voted in the Canadian federal election.... yaaawwnnn, oh sorry, excuse me..... Ya there was an election here too, I almost forgot, what with all the commotion down south of the border.... Canadian politics?.... meh.... maybe it's election fatigue, I mean this was the third election in the past four years.... maybe its because this election was a choice between meh, meh, meh, and more meh.... if we actually got to vote for the party leader, I might not have even voted, but since we vote for a local Member of Parliament, I was motivated.... this is because the last time I voted FOR my local MP, he went ahead and switched sides after he was elected!.... can these slimy politicians do that?.... he betrayed the constituency that gave him the right to sit in the House of Commons, and we no longer have any say about it?..... I voted for him because of his political party not because he inspired me as an individual.... I should have figured out from the questionable and unconvincing hair(piece) on his opportunistic head that he shouldn't be trusted.... so I didn't just vote FOR a candidate this time round, I voted AGAINST that traitor.... I actually like the current situation of a minority government, it keeps these politicians on their toes, I'm just sick of all these snap elections....

I have never been inspired by a politician, and with politicians like my (hopefully former) MP, how can you be inspired to even trust them?.... at least that follicley-challenged traitor to the electorate made Canadian politics a little more interesting for me.... now, politics in the United States of America? Yeeeehaaaaw! .... I actually rushed home so I could re-hook my IV back into CNN.... reality t.v. has never been so interesting..... oh sorry I meant reality, sometimes I can't tell.... it's more than just the historic nature of this US election..... yes, this election may very well lead to the first black president of the the free world, but with Barack Obama, I finally know what my parents' generation meant when they were inspired by another young politician.... JFK.... yes people will say that Obama is just good at delivering a speech, but I am not the one you should ask whether one should believe that words have power.... not just the power to inspire you to feel good, but the power to inspire the individual to action and affect real change for the better.... I for one have watched these past eight years with dismay and a sense of despondence at the direction the world is heading towards.... in Canada, we liken our relationship with the US as a mouse in bed with an elephant.... of course the US is the elephant.... whenever the elephant moves, the mouse feels it.... this analogy can easily apply to the United States' relationship with the rest of the world.... I was leaning towards the propaganda that the US of America was just a bully rather than the propaganda that America, from its founding is the beacon of liberty, hope, freedom, democracy, hope, opportunity, justice, equality, hope, etc, for all peoples of the world, unlike any other nation on earth..... I could use a little bit of hope right now, and Barack Obama gives me the hope that there are leaders out there who can inspire and lead with a cool, smart, and steady hand, rather than with moronic trigger happy fingers....

Whether a change in the White House will lead to a change in the world towards cooperation and good will, remains to be seen... One thing is for sure here in North America, we can choose our leaders, we can hold them accountable, we can change them, we can question our government's propaganda, we can stand up to our governments, we have a say in what direction we want our societies to head, we can agree to disagree on our differing ideologies, we have the right to make up our own minds, and believe what we choose to believe.... yes, we can.... si, se puede.... oui, c'est possible... pwede yan.... やれば、できるんだ.... 我们做得到....

A belated Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, we have a lot to be thankful for in our democracy.... I hope you all participate in democracy and vote.... I can't wait to see what happens on November 4 with our cousins down south....

"in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope..."

TECHNORATI TAGS: yes we can, man who stands up to tanks in tianenmen square

Une Nuit Blanche avec moi-même

2008-10-05T06:22:00.017-04:00

At 2 A.M. this morning, I found myself neither able to sleep, nor able to focus on what I was trying to study..... I've been having trouble focusing all week.... well, next thing I knew, I found myself making a cup of coffee and hoping into my car, and then driving to Toronto.... it's been a long time since I've done anything remotely spontaneous..... and with gas prices these days, the spontaneous decision to hop in the car and go for a drive is no longer one made lightly.... I figured with crude oil prices dropping and gas at only $1.09/litre, I'd splurge a little.... what the heck? only $1.09/litre? that's still ridiculous.... I thought I'd check out this year's Nuit Blanche, and I figured the drive may do me some good....

after parking the car, I found myself walking down an uncharacteristically empty University Avenue....where the hell am I? what the hell am I doing? and where the hell am I going?..... these are questions I find myself pondering these days, even when I'm not wandering the deserted city streets at 3 A.M.....

check out what they did to city hall....the installation is titled "Stereoscope" by some German dudes, it's an interactive light installation... you can influence what's displayed on the city hall windows through smart phones, the web and physical controllers that are located in Nathan Phillips Square.....
This one is titled "Waterfall" by Katharine Harvey, made from recyclable plastic bottles.... it's hanging on the Ontario Power Generation Building.... I thought that was poetic since it reminds me of Niagara Falls, which generates a lot of Ontario's power....
this one is titled "A Dream of Pastures" by Mitchell F. Chan and Brad Hindson....

it's an interactive light and shadow animation projected against the wall of the Art Gallery of Ontario, see the guy riding the bike? it's his shadow riding the horse....

okay, there were a lot more installations strewn across the city.... 155 to be exact, needless to say I didn't see them all.... I figured it was time for me to return to my reality.... plus I had enough of the fumes emanating from the alcohol drenched post-last-call crowds, and had inhaled enough second hand marijuana smoke for the night.... also, the sun would be on it's way back soon.... a new day.... hopefully a fresh and more focused start for the week.... wish me luck....

Acquainted With The Night
by Robert Frost

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-by;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.

TECHNORATI TAGS: nuit blanche toronto